On the verge of an affair

I have just signed up to a ”married’ dating site. I am already in contact with someone who I might arrange to meet soon. I have been married almost
8 years, have 3yr old beautiful twins but am often so unhappy and depressed I pull my own hair out and have patches of thin hair on my head. My husband, wouldn’t comment if I dyed my hair purple, I just feel so unloved by him most of the time, but it’s too complicated to leave and we simply couldn’t afford to seperate. We barely sleep with each other, and I just crave some attention and excitement in my life. I don ‘t want to hurt my husband, and plan not to tell a soul if I do get involved with someone else.
I have spent the last 7 years trying to make my husband happy and keep things romantic and alive, but it hasn’t worked.

4 thoughts on “On the verge of an affair

  1. Your needs are not being met and you have tried. Having an affair will not solve your problems but it might solve the problem of feeling unloved. I think you should go for it but before you do, fully understand that things may never be the same again.

    I hope you find yourself again.x

  2. Dear On the Verge,
    My best advice is not to try fixing your marriage problems with something that can become a bigger problem. Affairs although exciting is not the solution. Affairs are even more complicated than one can imagine and bring much heartache and pain. The bottom line is an affair will not make you happy and if you think you feel neglected now you will find that an affair only will compound that neglected lonely feeling. Therapy is the best solution. Believe me I know because I have had an affair and by most standards it was a loving, caring relationship, but in the end it will not solve anything.

  3. Dear on the verge,

    Having an affair is not going to solve your problems. Save yourself and your family some misery and forgo this option.
    Should you involve yourself, you might get some more “excitement” but is your health and well being worth all of that. In an affair, you will always be relegated to second or third fiddle and will never be the main attraction. May I suggest that you get into therapy and learn ways to take better care of yourself and build some more excitement into your life in a way that benefits you and your family.
    Take good care now and let us know how you’re doing.

    1. Her health and well being is worth everything. It’s suffering right now because she is in a terrible marriage. She is not being loved and appreciated. That makes everything seem dark, and sad. I say she needs to go find her happiness. It’s not with her husband. If she wants to have an affair, so what? Or maybe she will take up painting, or write a novel. Whatever Sarah does, at least she is ready to stand the hell up and do something. Go have a life Sarah!! Then, report back. Life is too short to try to make a man happy at the expense of your own health and self esteem.

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