not willing to put up with BS to have a man

I’m 40 years old,been married 3 times,now divorced for the 3rd time,2 grown girls and a grand son.They live in a different state along with the rest of my family.I have no close friends outside of work.I am very social at work but when I get home I just want to be left alone.I’v had so many relationships with men that I am sick of them,all the relationships that I have had have been physically & mentially abusive on their part,I have been beat to the point by my first husband that I lost 2 children.The others stopped working and expected me to support them.I am the kind of woman who doesn’t take BS and kicked them to the curb.I am not willing to put up with,drugs,hitting,cheating or any of the other BS just to have a man.I’m afraid I’m gonna be alone for the rest of my life.I would never tell anybody this in person.