My secret.
Posted by Weakness in Alone on Jun 9th, 2009 | 9 commentsI have an eating disorder, and I cant stop.
I know what everyone will tell me, eat you stupid bitch! Stop doing this to yourself! But I just cant, its an obsession. It consumes me. Its so hard to explain, and so hard to fight against. I want to stop, I try everyday. Ive tried almost everyday for the last year.
No one knows and no one will ever know but me.
9 Responses to “ “My secret.”
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Try eating at sunrise, and a second meal at sunset. Nothing else
Why do you do this? Is it a self image problem?
“Biting the hand that starves you”, by Richard Maisel, David Epston, Ali Borden. This book change, and probably saved, my life. You’re not alone out there. Don’t stop trying.
I’m 17, and I’ve struggled with an eating disorder most of my life too. It is one of the hardest things to overcome… I saw therapists and was “treated”. The only thing that I could find that worked was running.
you should try it, maybe it’ll work for you. I run for 3 miles a day now. And I’ve never been happier.
I hope this helped.
the first thing i noticed is that you downed your self by imagining what some else would say–”eat you stupid bitch”
you are not stupid–because by at least looking for help you have begun one of the many steps to stop.
you are not a bitch because you are simply not a female dog.
I would encourage you to find either a 12 step program for eating disorders or therapy…I am involved with a 12 step program myself and it truly seems to help.
“What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.” -v for vendetta
Look just by reading your confession im guessing you are skinny. Not to encourage you but i bet you are damm sexy. Every man wants a skinny girl. But your health comes first b/c nobody wants to deal with this kind of shi**t. Eat healthy, excersize daily and you will be in good shape (image) without endangering your life. I agree with the comment above mine. “You’re no alone out there”. Its common, people before and after you will deal with the same thing. But i can’t stress this enough that your health comes first!!! Take care of yourself and live your long long life you got ahead of you.
I can tell you, I’ve been in & am still in the same boat.
I had/have an eatting disorder, but because of my parentals
they got me some professional help, so I HAD no choice to gain
I did, hate it, but I did it. But every single day of my life
I cry, and miss the control I had over myself.
The control I finally had! You see, the ones who tell you what to do
about the whole eatting disorder, they have control. & they are happy
They don’t get how this finally gives us a little handle of things.
I hate myself everyday for giving in, I’ll get back to my old self. Just wait..
Youve confessed, now hear mine. I have an eating disorder too. Truth is you dont want help. No one can help you until the day you decide you want help. You pretend this is eating at you, but deep down, you are really bragging. Ouch.. In ana’s world you are adored right? Truth sucks
Of course you don’t *want* help – it is why it’s called a disorder, after all. It’s why people loose their hair, teeth and lives over it – not because it’s a funny game.
I had ano/bul for 5 years, have been recovered for 12 now. I took a few relapses, mostly to prove to myself I could still go back if I wanted to (stupid, I know). But you know what – I wouldn’t trade this (healthy) world for anything. I can socialize with friends without having to worry about what we’re going to eat (ie how I best dodge the food), I actually have a sex drive, my hair doesn’t fall out in huge lumps – and generally speaking, I can enjoy and think about other things than food.
So – good luck. I hope you’ll give yourself the life and love that you (and we all) deserve. Take care!