Loser (pt 2)
Posted by Wrecked_Life SALVAGED in Alone on Aug 23rd, 2010 | 9 commentsThis is a follow-up tp my first entry: “Loser.”
After putting those thoughts out of my head, and out “on the table” here on Secret Confessions, I was able to see through my situation in a moment of clarity. It helped to read the words and process the idea that I wanted to die, and in doing so I realized that it’s not death that I want, but I WANT TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE.
I want a renewal. I started by cleaning up around my house (clearing my space). I turned off the phone, tv, etc, anything that could distract me. I threw out the stacks of paper put away the laundry. I cut the grass, and when it began to rain, I did not stop. I continued until it was done. I don’t care what the neighbors may think, the rain washed away the pain and tears. It was liberating.
I rode my bike that had been sitting collecting cobwebs, until it made me puke. It hurt like hell, but with each breath that burned my chest I felt a sensation of becoming more free.
I realize that no matter what, I have too much life in me to throw it all away. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me right now, this is MY life, and I have to forgive myself for my flaws.
I hope this will inspire some of you who may feel you’re at the end of the road to press on and triumph over this moment in your life. Start by doing something nice for yourself. If it’s love you want, show some love to yourself, even for being imperfect. It doesn’t take much to start. It can be as simple as taking a bath. Plant that seed, and it will flourish.
The only way to be a Loser would be to give up on life.
9 Responses to “ “Loser (pt 2)”
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WOW, way to go… That’s fantastic!!! Good work…
congratulations!
Remember that it will be a day-by-day process. The more you choose to do things that are good for yourself, the easier, and more natural it will feel to make healthy choices.
Your struggles could really inspire and help others. Have you thought about reaching out into the community?
That is truly wonderful! Wish you the best and know that you are always loved. Best of Luck!
you truly have touched my heart.<3. Thank you & god bless.
Outstanding!!Keep the faith. One last piece of the puzzle is to attend Church at least one/week or month if possible. Stay positive. HIV is not the end of the world.
…Once per week/month. Corrections. Keep up the positive attitude.
You are not a loser.
You are like gold in God’s eyes.
God loves you no matter what.
Even if you feel like you messed up and its the end of your life, God has bigger things in store for you.
God loves you so much that he sent his son to DIE on the CROSS so that you could be free. If you acknowledge that before him, he will free you. If you want freedom just take it by the blood of Jesus. I’ll be praying for you. God Bless
You’re not a loser. You’re awesome!!!!
God Bless you! Keep the faith, keep it strong!!