Last Day Of My Life…
Posted by _Anonymous_ in Alone on Sep 5th, 2010 | 6 commentsI have a pretty privileged life, I have a car that my parents pay to keep and fuel. I have a flat that is paid for. I have food when I want and even have fast broadband and cable TV.
So why is it that I spend most days contemplating how I am going to end my own life?
I will ask my mum to cook with me when i visit her and she will find the recipe and buy expensive ingredients, but all I really want is for her to help me learn to cook. Not spend out and then do something on her own and leave me to follow the step by step in the book.
I try to have hobbies that I can share with my dad but he will buys us both the equipment that we need for whatever fad we have chosen to try, do it one with me once and then give me the stuff to do it on my own in future.
It seems like things are perfect from outside but all I want is for my parents to sit and watch TV with me or even come around to see my place, once would be nice.
So today I am doing something about it. I am ending my life, and beginning another one.
I am disappearing. I will move away and leave everything behind. start a new life somewhere new. I have managed to save £1000 over the last couple of years. I can afford to rent a flat and start fresh. At least now I can truly be alone, instead of having to speak to my family everyday who really don’t give a shit but call all the time just because it is what they are supposed to do.
New name
New home
New me
Alone forever
6 Responses to “ “Last Day Of My Life…”
Leave a Reply
Subscribe
Sorry to burst your bubble but your parents will probably hire a private investigator to find you.. I also doubt very much that your prepared to support yourself.. Why don’t you do yourself a favor and quit whining?? Find something that you love to do and do it.. You have nothing holding you back. Your parents aren’t going to change now. I’m assuming your an adult, grow up and start your own life the right way not the cowardly way
You’ve got to know that moving away isn’t going to solve it. The problem your having is that you feel a profound lack of connection with people.
Want to solve it? Join something. Volunteer at a childrens hospital, deliver meals on wheels, join a local sports club, invite your father to join you on a long term project (like building a car), and otherwise get involved.
Moving away will just increase your sense of disconection and loneliness. Your parents sound boring, but if they’re footing the bills, let them… And DO SOMETHING with it.
It sounds to me like you are depressed but i’m not a professional so maybe you should talk to a doctor who may be able to get you some help and a proper diagnosis of what is wrong. Also they can refer you to a counsellor or psychaitrist to further help you.
Ok, let me get this straight…You live with your parents, they pay for everything, you don’t work, your car is paid for, but all of that is material and you want your parents attention since you feel lonely, right? So…to start your new life, you are going to move alone, live a alone, pay for everything by yourself, still no job, which will then be hard to buy gas with no money. Ah…call me crazy, but it doesn’t seem like you have thought this out clearly. It seems like you are looking for the attention from your parents that they haven’t given you in a long long time. Only, doing what you want to do with your new life, it’s only going to allow your parents to give you bad attention cause they will be pissed and not take you serious. And oh yeah, you will still be lonely!!
I am no therapist or professional, but from my experience, the key is communication. If you don’t let them know how you feel they wil not know, just the same way you don’t know how they feel right now. They will not read between the lines no matter how many ways you put it. You have to be clear and just say “Mum I would really love to spend quality time with you. I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” and see what she says. It doesn’t hurt to let them know how you feel.
I don’t know you and don’t know what you have tried to do to make things better with your parents, but if you don’t try then you don’t know what can become of it. Counseling helps too. I wish you best of luck aand believe me, living on your own is not easy. I have to pay for everything myself…everything. I wish I didn’t have to…I wouldn’t be so stressed out as I am now if I had everything paid as you do.
Good Luck!!
What a spoilt little brat, grow up for god sake and stand on your own two feet.
someone will find you.
you can never just leave your life, it will always come back to you.
i think you need help, just say to yourself
‘i’ll wait 24 hours until I do something’
and see what happens x