I’ve given up hope
Posted by broken beyond repair in Alone on Jun 20th, 2010 | 2 commentsI’ve accepted many things as just part of my life:
If I have any periods of time not hallucinating, the hallucinations will come back quickly.
I will always have thoughts of suicide.
I will always have an eating disorder.
I will always return to self injury.
The most recent one was that I will never be free from depression. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be happy for more than a day.
My goals are just to not kill myself, not end up in jail, and not have to go back to a psychiatric hospital. That last one may not happen.
Realizing that this is all my life is was a painful realization, but why hope for what will never be.
2 Responses to “ “I’ve given up hope”
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I know many people may or may not say this but don’t do anything stupid… it will only get better from here. Take it from someone who has faced this… get some friends who care about you and life. In order to do that, just have confindence in yourself. I know this doesn’t seem easy but it’s really just like climbing stairs. Once you take that first step it’s one less step toward an amazing life. You are a unique person with a unique life and no one else will be just like you. Don’t let such a beautiful life go to waste.
unfortunately battling depression takes work every day. happiness takes conditioning of your brain and body. get some exercise, it’s supposed to be the number one cure for depression..
also, look around at the people who love you and think about all the things that other people suffer with (handicaps, poverty, war, oppression etc) and consider how lucky you are and the wonderful things that you can do with your life, it’s full of possibilities