I push people away…

I have HIV and have had it for 5 years since I was 19 instead of telling people that try to get close to me I push them away and shut myself out… Most times I think of killing myself.

4 thoughts on “I push people away…

  1. Seven years later I still wonder what my life would be like now if my then boyfriend would have loved himself enough to let me love him. He is HIV+ and I am not. It never mattered to me since be both understood the situation and took reasonable precautions. He would tell me that he would want to die if he infected me, but that wasn’t fair to me. I’m a big boy who understands what might happen. He may think he was protecting me from something but what really ended up happening was he made me hate him for years until I finally understood that he hated himself so much he wouldn’t let e love him. I still think about him and in many ways will never stop loving him. He was my first love and I feel cheated out of the years of happiness we could have had if he just loved himself enough to realize that becoming infected was not his fault; just unfortunate luck.

  2. ooh my goodness just let love in! forgive yourself. open your heart and share it, you deserve to get all of the love that you want and need, and everyone you love deserves to know and love you for everything that you are. don’t be afraid to reach out on behalf of your true self, and we all need each other to get by.

  3. Are you at all sexually active? I hope you are acting responsibly and protecting yourself and others from your condition.

    There are from what I’ve read some treatments which indicate they can resolve your HIV condition.

    I hope that this is true and you avoid passing on to full blown aids. Its a horrible way to suffer.

    God Bless You

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.