I am sad…I want to die

Posted by in Alone on Mar 27th, 2010 | 4 comments

I hurt myself at work almost a year ago. It was a back injury, I haven’t been the same ever since. I have been under a lot of stress at work and I know thats how I pulled a muscle. Since then I had major depression, anxiety, and just recently tested positive for an auto immune disease and am in even more pain. My doctor ignores me, so do my friends (they are also in the medical field) I feel so alone. I cry everyday because I am in pain and I know now that my life will never be the same. I want to die and I don’t know who to turn to. live in a small town and everyone knows everyone. If I try to get help word will get out, and I am not emotionally prepared to deal with it. I have a husband and a son, bu they don’t understand what I am going through…If they weren’t in my life I would throw myself into the ocean. My life will never be the same nor will I. I thought that posting this would make me feel better, but I can’t stop crying. I still want to die.

4 Responses to “ “I am sad…I want to die”

  1. Anonymous says:
    March 28, 2010 at 12:21 am

    If you need help to then go get some. Who cares what other people think…it will be even worse if you have a mental break down. Pray about it as well. You will be fine.

    Reply
    • jules says:
      March 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      I hear you….My circumstances are different but understand about not wanting to tell people for fear of ridicule & judgment. At least you have a family, people who probably do care if they knew how seriously you felt.

      Reply
  2. keith says:
    March 28, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    i live in a small town too, i know how that can make it hard….a lot of people suffer from back pain, i do as well. I recently started going to a gym and was amazed what it did for me. at first it was worse, but by strengthening my back, it soon got much better. As well i have also felt that deep anxiety, for me smoking took it away, but that’s obviously not a good solution. I’m not crazy about meds, but talk to someone, (a better doctor, they are out there) and do what you have to do. don’t keep trying to internalize it.

    Reply
  3. Beef tips says:
    February 9, 2011 at 3:08 am

    Don’t worry about what others think. I have an auto immune disease as well…find a doctor who will give you pain killers. My life has improved so much. There is a privacy law called hippa and no one is allowed to discuss your health or you can sue. Keep it a secret and no one has to know.

    Reply

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