Friends
Posted by A 14 year old boy on the edge in Alone on Sep 26th, 2010 | 4 commentsThe last few months of my life have been a downward spiral into sadness and depression. I have hurt too many people in these months so that i have lost about half of all my friends. I have no hope left and all I have is a horrible feeling of hopelessness in my life. My whole demeanor has been happiness on the outside but i don’t know how much longer i can keep up this whole charade that i have been playing. My grades aren’t slipping but they give me more satisfaction anymore. I’m done. Depression isn’t giving up its just saying that I have been strong for too long and i am done with it.
4 Responses to “ “Friends”
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@ boy on the edge…
When I was your age I had similar thoughts and huge anger and depressive mood swings, and feelings of hopelessness. Amazingly, that was 30 years ago, and I am a different person. We all change in time. It’s difficult to pull out and see oneself from a distance, but imagine looking down on yourself. Things change so quickly. Give it until the seasons change. Or, call a helpline. Exercise and try and make a new social network. This too shall pass, even though it sure hurts at the time. Try and get out of yourself. Change your environment by taking a big trip to somewhere new.
When I was fourteen, I was also depressed. I felt like a dissapointment and I only hurt the people around me. I was sad because I couldn’t help what I was doing.
The next year I attempted suicide. Twice. I failed. Twice.
I went into a clinic.
It was wonderful while you are in there. Not so great when you get out.
I spent 3 years looking for myself.
I dissapointed myself more.
This year, I watched a movie which was about death and life. The one character posed two questions. He said, The ancient Egyptions believed that by answering 2 questions before the door of heaven; they could determine if you were ready for death.
Those two questions were:
Did I find joy in my life?
Did my life bring joy to others?
Helplines, clinics, psychiatrists and psychologists can only help so far.
YOU need to find meaning in your life.
Hey I’m 15 and I was in a similar situation to yours last year but I did not loose my friends but I did isolate my self from them. Well I just want you to know that everything is going to be alright and I know it’s hard and painful but somethings in like we just have to get through and believe that it will all get better with time. I wish you the best of luck.
you are now at the pits of growing up. not all, but I;m willing to bet at least 95% of the people goes through this shit. 94.8% comes out a better, wiser and more mature person. I hated my life at 14. in fact, I continued to hate it until I was 15 before I managed to stumble over the edge of the pit. You friends would have changed. When you grow up, it’s natural for you to move away from each other. Glad to hear your grades aren’t slipping.
16 was the year I found a purpose in life. looking back, I find it incredible that I even managed to climb out of the pits, but I did. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Wierdly enough, music was my saving grace when I wanted to scream and throw up at the look of myself. maybe it’ll help you too. Hold on. you’re half way there. Don’t give up yet. You have too much to live for to let 2 years of your life drag you down!