what am I supposed to do????
Posted by anon in Addiction on Sep 16th, 2010 | 28 commentsIm a 36 yr old female, married to a wonderful guy, and we have 2 beautiful girls…ages 13 & 11…we have a pretty good family life , and are very happy…once in a while we like to smoke pot…well my 13 yr old isn’t stupid and found out…and is very upset with us and I’m not sure how or what to say to her…we give her everything…both of them..they don’t go without anything…but in her eyes we r now criminals…(her words) any advice out there let me know
thanks
28 Responses to “ “what am I supposed to do????”
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Truth: All you can do is wait for C.P.S. to knock on the door now. Our kids are taught to report Mommy and Daddy for any “criminal” activity. The fact she used this very word probably means this very program has already been taught in her school.
Get rid of your stash. You don’t owe her or them any explanations. Remember YOU are the parents.
Next thing is when you say she found out….does that mean she actually saw you smoking? If all she is doing is speculating then she is blowing smoke (no pun intended).
Finally get stricter as parents and limit her movements and when she says youre not being fair remind her that you don’t wanna get accused of being criminals and you are just being her PARENTS.
I think that it’s very likely that your daughter is using this to manipulate you.. Not an unusual behavior for most kids. She’s getting to that age that she wants to do whatever she wants and she will now use this as a means to get what she wants, she’ll use it against you, IMO. You’re an adult, don’t let this brat-child run you. I’ve been in your shoes, don’t let her intimidate you.
Well, you just showed her that its ok to smoke pot.. AND its NOT! money doesnt buy everything ya know… life skills taught to her will be what she relys on, and man did you just do the biggest mistake. I mean we’re not perfect, but if your going to smoke pot and maybe do other stuff that your kids shouldnt know about, dontcha think you should do that on your time not thiers, meaning, when they cant find out! old saying Monkey see Monkey do. Best be prepared for when she tells a teacher and those kids are taken away, because thats whats going to happen… is pot really that worth it? I know I’d give my kids anything and try my hardest to do just that, but I certainly wouldnt give them pot and say here its ok…. I do it… its a shame… get some help for your pot problem, you may think its not…. but now that she knows… and now you know she knows.. ist that kinda kill the buzz… I’d feel guilty bigtime if I knew my kids knew what I did on my alone adult time! some things kids just dont need to know!
you should be feeling very nervous right now…..
HAHAHA! Parenting is tough!
You better talk to her about it… And be honest. If you lie, she’ll figure it out and you’ll ruin your relationship with her.
First, I would talk to your daughter and explain to her that smoking pot on occasion is not a bad thing when you are an adult. Because if it were so bad, they would not be prescribing it to people. The only reason it is not legal yet is because the government is still trying to find a way to tax on it themselves. Communication is key and if she is 13 she should be understanding of that. Also, unless she is being abused in any way, she should clearly not dislcose to anyone what happens in your home to include recreation, finances, work, etc. That is called privacy. What parents do in theie private homes is up to them. So again if she is not being harmed then this clearly is a case of explaining to her how she should react to it. I would recommend not smoking for a while or just quitting just in case if she aleady happened to tell anyone in school.
here is what you do you do what schools will not teach your childern the truth. Childern are thought that pot is evil and will kill you. when really thats is wrong. This day in time the parents better teach there children the truth because the government is expecting that parents will neglect to do so.SO the government uses this aginst the parents. If your child has never heard anyone talk about pot but his or her teacher then they will believe everything they say about it. The government fills our childern with fear about things like pot so that they will get scared and tell someone who they think they can trust. Just sit your child down and explain the truth. That pot is a plant and who created life on earth the same one god that made earth. I dont think he would have given us pot if it didn’t have a use. Explain that no pot doesn’t kill your brain or rot your lungs but cigarettes do and are alot worse than a joint but the government still allows us to use. Once your child finds out the truth about the government then they will understand. Remember the government doesn’t care about you just your money and they want to get it any way possable even if it means your own child rats you out. The government truns us against each other that is the only way for them to control the population. They teach children in school that government is always right and they do best. That is false and most childern grow up and relealise that they were thought all kinds of lies from school. The truth is the most powerful tool and if people dont know the truth then they are lost.
You can thank the schools for that. They act like pot is really really bad. Of course I know it’s not.
Okay, so pot isn’t the worst drug you could be doing.
Your kid may or may not tell someone so you need to get rid of what you have immediately. Duh.
But my opinion is this… As someone who was raised by two potsmokers, I think if you have any interest in your kids, you should put down the pipe, for good. Not only will it blow up in your face eventually if you don’t, but honestly, it is a recipe for bad parenting. What does pot do? Almost the whole effect (especially in the long term) is laziness. That’ll eat up your relationship with them in a heartbeat.
My little brother found my mom’s pot once and flushed it. Sometimes it’s not just the SCHOOLS that think the pot is bad – the kids that know how it changes your parents!
I always thought it was “whatever” but it ended up being part of the reason I don’t talk to my mother; and why at 22, I have more maturity, class, and financial stability than she’s ever had. And she doesn’t drink, or do other drugs – it’s simply that pot stops you from ever maturing in the way that your brain needs to. If it’s an occasional thing, I’m sorry to bother you. But if it’s regular, you should get some help – for all these and many more reasons.
Don’t let people like marie scare you!! You’re not gonna get your kids taken away, she’s full of it. Heavy duty abusers and drug addicts rarely get their kids taken away, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, a good majority of the population is doing what you’re doing…
I do know what Im talking about, thank you very much Sarasota, when someone posts on here its our obligation to reply, If her daughter does tell, which, kids sometimes do, and that information gets in the wrong hands, like teachers and such, sure the children might not be taken, but trust me, c.p.s will be in her life nonstop, thats what they’re job is, to protect the child. I never once said I was a angel, what I did mention was doing her own stuff, on her time, adult time, if the parent is cronic and has to do it all the time, theres some things that maybe she might want to seek some counselling for. whatever the case, I state what I know. I am not trying to “scare” her Im giving her facts. Dont give them anything to be concerned about and they’ll (CPS) never bother you ; )
I haven’t read anyone else’s reply: sorry if I’m copying someone.
**** her. No offence, but she’s YOUR child. You get to say what she does and doesn’t do. And, in all honesty, she’s going to be smoking dope in a few years anyway. Be honest: tell her that weed/hash is fairly ok to smoke, so long as she isn’t depressed looking for a better high to blot out her shitty existance.
Or, if all else fails, tell her that if she reports you she’ll be put in care, or an orphanage. And then tell her that all kids that are put in care/orphanage turn out to be dirty skanks and whores that take a load of drugs, and churn out 7 kids by 19 different fathers. And that if she’s taken in to care she’ll end up on the Jeremy Kyle/Jerry Springer show becaues she’s sleeping with her cousin.
All of you people need to lighten up. The only reason pot was made illigal is because William Randolph Hearst ran a smear campaign against it, he had significant financial interests in the timber industry. He was threatened by marijuana and lobbied to have it made illegal, and believe it or not, it has a lot to do with immigration as well as the racism of the U.S. government at the time it was made illegal. Plus scientific studies have shown that pot has medicinal purposes, and has been proven to do less damage than alcohol. So really, pot isn’t all that bad, and I think you should stop judging this poor woman so harshly. Pot is a God given plant, that grows naturally, it is NOT a man-made chemical drug. This woman is not a criminal.
You ARE Criminals. Smoking pot is against the law. How about you stop? If you love your children you will. Now your daughter could start and that is bad parenting on your part.
Good luck…
Don’t worry about it going out of hand, I am sure she knows the consequence it may have on her if other girls at her age find out about it. The biggest mistake you can make is let her use it as bargaining chips.
Just be careful with your next pot sessions and good luck.
Too late she will never look at you the same , when I was young and found out my mom did drugs I lost all respect for her its been 15yrs and I am polite with her but I dont look up to her because she doesnt see the consequences of her actions like the criminals she’s supporting … if there was no demand there would be no supply
She is reacting only in the way that she system has taught her to. It your responsibility to explain it to her the way it really is.
alice is very smart. listen to her!
I am lucky to live in a state where medical marijuana is legal. I have been a recreational user since I was 13 yrs old. I’m 31 now. I have a professional career, a husband, 3 kids, a dog. A house in the suburbs. My kids know I smoke, they know more about marijuana than most adults. Educate your daughter, don’t be afraid to tell the truth. There’s a few really good books out there for all ages about marijuana. If you are honest with her & teach her it won’t be a problem
Smoking pot…first its not addictive…secondly tell the kid its normal.
quit smoking pot and stop being a hypocrite. Can she come home high on drugs and be excused because you do it too? What is she wants to experiment with hard street drugs?
There’s no gray line and the right choice is always hard.
Tell her it’s our civil duty to follow just laws and it’s our civil duty not to follow unjust laws.
Or blow smoke in her face, she’ll calm down.
civil duty not to follow unjust laws.
i couldn’t have said it better
you should have a frank and open discussion with her about weed. explain to her that society has a problem with it but that truthfully it is not really a drug.
you say your daughter isnt stupid so she will understand.
hide your stash outside of the house
Posted by anon in Addiction on >>Sep 16th, 2010<< I think this thread has worked it self out by now and no updates from the OP, let it die.
I’m not a parent, so I’m not speaking from experience here, but doesn’t every kid at some point realize her parents are not perfect? I find it hard to believe this is the first time that you’ve been caught doing something against the rules.
I can’t believe that since your kids have been born you’ve never gone over the speed limit, never lied to get out of a social obligation, never invented someone like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, never been caught keeping any secrets, never exceeded the recommended dosage on any medication, never lied to the school about your kids’ absenses, etc. You must have dealt with getting caught before. Maybe smoking pot is more serious than these other things, but how did you handle this before?
I don’t see how acting hysterical and letting the kid judge you and rule you could help things at all. But, if you’re growing and/or distributing it, things could get really bad, depending on what state you live in.
If you really want to allow your daughter to have this leverage on you, and I don’t think you should, the least you could do is negotiate. Work out a deal.
You two both need to grow up and step up to your role of being parents. It doesnt matter what you get them or how much stuff you get them, it doesnt take back the fact that you are a 36 year old woman smoking pot with your husband. I myself grew up in a household similiar to your children and let me tell you this, it doesnt take back the hurt of seeing your parents act like two teenagers. I am not being rude im being honest.
Is this really so hard? Bottom line is pot is ILLEGAL. How do you expect your daughter to respect you if she knows you are breaking the law? We are supposed to be examples for our children. If you want to smoke it, then do it, but by all means be smart enough to not get caught by your girls! I realize there are worse things out there that you could be doing and that everyone “breaks the rules” at one time or another, but come on. Are you the parents that would also let your kids smoke with you when they got old enough that you thought it would be okay? Or you would defend pot, but not other drugs like, oh, say meth or cocaine or whatever? Whatever you think you are going to say to her, you better just say it to the 11 year old too because the 13 year old will tell her. Then you’ll have two loose cannons! Will they tell their friends? Will they confide in someone at school? You should take a look at why she is so upset about it. Maybe her points are valid. Don’t discount how she feels because you can’t stop breaking the law. You should think about apologizing for one thing (for knowingly do something wrong) and then maybe quitting? Just a thought…