the unbearable burden of weight
Posted by burdened in Addiction on Jan 7th, 2010 | 6 commentsI am scared to relapse into anorexia.
I really don’t want to.
I really don’t want to be back at the point I was. I remember hospital floors, the ceiling of my kitchen when I was lying on the floor and couldn’t get up. I remember threads of thought tangled, tied up with a measuring tape, clogged with food and scales. Having to lie to my loved ones.
People say I was thin, then. I wouldn’t know. I never saw.
But they say I gained weight now.
This guy I like says I’m slightly chubbier than he’d like. I played it lightly. He didn’t say it to be mean and I do get it, but I didn’t want to come off as a nagging bitch, so I didn’t say how much it really hurt.
It scares me. And I want back.
I don’t know what to think.
6 Responses to “ “the unbearable burden of weight”
Leave a Reply
Subscribe
When I was a young man I had a huge crush on a young pretty woman working just down the way from me. She was so cute I would just stare. – I was obviously too shy to do anything but after that long summer, some how I got the nerve to go and ask her out. – She wasn’t there. A week passed and I finally heard what happened. – She died from it.
If you’ve been to the hospital you’ve heard the stories and don’t need anyone preaching the dark side, and obviously, not experiencing something like that myself I’m probably not the person to give advice on your personal feelings. – Maybe a doctor or a really close friend can help with that.
What I can tell you, is that believe it or not, skinny girls are really gross. There is absolutely nothing attractive about them when it’s not natural. To tone out the flab is easy. – EXERCISE!
Otherwise, remember it’s about you and don’t put up with anyone who doesn’t love you for who you are.
…and if you just can’t, then find someone like me who enjoys a little more to hold on to…
Take care,
what the hell did she die from dude??
anorexia you idiot
So it’s really bad to have it I hear, but I don’t listen. Why am I trying? Why aren’t I getting help? Instead I’m trying to find a way to help you (not in a mean way) Im 13 and wish I was anorexic and you wish it wouldnt really come back. Is it as bad as everyone says, is it rewarding in some way? Just think of family, anything that you value and if you really think your chubby then look around at other people your age and see if your mind is playing tricks on you. For me its not, its too late for me
Yeah–I used to be super skinny. I wasn’t eating, not consciously, I was just so busy. I started gaining weight and didn’t even realize it. Then people started telling me all the time that I gained weight and it looks great. I totally disagree. I’m glad that you are healthy again, but don’t ya just wish people would shut up when it comes to your weight? They think it’s a compliment to say the weight looks good, which is why I can’t hold it against them, but it is damaging, at least for me. By the way, tell your boyfriend I said he’s an *******.
The obsession is so consuming, its not worth it, this guy isn’t worth going back to it. I know that feeling when people make comments though, how you can’t stop thinking about it, worrying about it, wanting to be perfect. Try exercising, it will help anxiety and tone your body. I find i’m happier with myself when i’m exercising because i keep my weight down and i know i’m being healthy.