Lost.

About year ago I relapsed after having a couple years clean off of drugs/alcohol. Fast forward about a year or so.. and I have never been so depressed and apathetic. I cant seem to care about anything.. I think I’m passed being able to “feel” the appropriate feelings that would go along with my situation(s). My girlfriend has been financially supporting me for the past 9 months, paying the bills, paying for food.. buys me smokes a couple times a week… and to top it off – I f****** steal her bank card while shes sleeping in the middle of the night, run down to the gas station on the corner, take out 60 or 80$ – then sneak back in to the apartment and put the card back in her wallet – and hope that she doesn’t find out right away… she always does.
I’ve systematically f***** everything up in my life. Estranged from my ex and 2yr old son.. not working on my career (or at all for that matter)
The only thing that separates me – from the junkies on Main and Hastings – is the fact that I have so far, refused to leave my girlfriends apartment when shes attempted to break up with me or kick me out. But one of these days she’ll break, and someone will come over to kick me out whether it be the cops, her friends or her family.
Im f*****. I need help…

2 thoughts on “Lost.

  1. Hi,
    Have you ever went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting? They are very good, and people will help you but my advice is NOT to get romantically or sexually involved with anyone! I made that mistake and am still paying for it! I was new and a man basically preyed on my vulnerable state. ANYWAYS, I am also an addict who relapsed and has been using. You CAN recover if you want to, but you must have the desire. Your life is a wreck as a result of your using drugs again. Mine is as well so I know how you feel. I know things will get better for us if and when we stop using. Your girlfriend, friends & family will have more respect for you, you’ll stop stealing money, and you’ll become employable again. Everything will change for the better. Good luck. I see a therapist too, and think it’s a very good idea for you as well. Good luck!

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