I hate myself, i love to be full

Today I went to couseling and admitted that I am addicted to food. I have realized this for a while. Saying it out loud is different, admitting that i binge in secret, hide food, buy food at gas stations, have a secret stash of trash in my car that i wait to throw away so no one knows. I am at home now with intese anxiety wanting to eat…weed brownies, pizza, icecream. i love food, or i at least feel relieved when i binge. Now i am trying to refrain from eatting and am drinking alcohol home alone. i am a 25 year old who used to be a very good looking woman.