I killed my step father. He was a drunk, pill popping sociopath who beat the hell out of my mom, me, my brother, and sister. He destroyed our lives and my mom was too scared for her life to do anything about it. It’s been 10 years and we’re all better off without you you sick ****
I’m afraid that I’m goin to end my own life. I’m 16 girl with no shoulder to cry on i may be depressed. My mom has many mental isssues so does my older bro. When you look at me i seem to be a normal happy teen. You ask me if I’m ok I’ll tell you I’m fine but everynight i cry myself to sleep. I’m naturally goofy which gives people a good excuse to yell at me I’m no bad kid never been in any serious trouble but they still feel the need to yell. I started cutting myself few months ago just lil baby cuts at first but they’ve gotten deeper and deeper I’m afraid ill go too deep. Ive thought about suicide many times before almost went through with it new years day everything has been getting worse my cousin just killed himself last week but nobody wonders how i feel don’t ask if I’m ok on top of all this I’m 2 things that my family hates gay and wiccan. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be the one to put an end to my life. Please help me
My girlfriend goes back and forth on whether she loves me or not. When she’s depressed she says she doesn’t think she loves me and she doesn’t treat me well. I know that I shouldn’t be with someone who treats me the way she does but I can’t bring myself to leave. I always thought that I would be able to end a relationship if anyone ever hit me but I guess I was wrong.
There is love in my home. Amplified by every laugh, every smile, every hug. Whispers of I love you right before bed, winks across the dinner table, passionate kisses, and love making. Yes, there is love in my home.
There is happiness in my home. Family movie night, family outings, photos of laughing and happy children. The portrait on our wall of us, our two children – all happy moments. We are happy.
And yet it is not enough. Selfish thoughts of the things I want, without thought of you or the children. Passion. I want passion and excitement, attention and affection.
And then there was YOU:
And then you appeared and I fell, had you risen to catch my heart I would have fallen into your arms. Thought provoking conversation between the two of us fueled my lust for you. Your slight smile, your laugh, your kindness. Was there really flirtation or was that in my mind? I had felt something that did not exist between the two of us – only hoped for. I imagined it all. Images of deep conversation, laughter between two lovers, laying in your arms, and no expectation of a happily ever after with you. With everything to lose and nothing more than guilt to gain. No, there was no more conversation, no more laughter for us, no warmth from your arms. All for the better I assume.
We are better off without knowing what could have been. So for the next little while I will begin to let go of a reality that never existed, only imagined.
Then I’ll start to breathe easier remembering that there is love in my home, there is happiness there too. And I will have passion, and I will have excitement, just not from you.
I hate my sister.
I hate my brother.
I hate my mother.
I hate my father.
I hate my stepmother.
I hate my stepfather.
I hate my stepsister.
I hate my stepbrother.
I hate my uncle.
I hate my cousins.
I hate my grandfather.
I hate my stepmother’s dog.
I love my aunts.
I love my grandmother.
I love two of my cousins.
I hate Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Twilight, and any modern artist that makes pop or rap music.
I don’t even know if I still love my girlfriend.
I really want to kill myself sometimes. I really ******* do.
I am 30 and am in love with a female co-worker who is about 50yrs old. My last relationship with a man was about 2yrs ago, and due to him moving away we are no longer together. I was devastated and have never found anything close to the relationship with him, until now. I am going crazy. I am a “good christian” and have no problems getting men, but my co-work is the only one I think about day and night. I dont think the feeling is mutual, but there are times that I really think she feels the same about me. Sometimes I am at work looking at the computer screen and day dreaming about touching her, and funny thing she just walks by me. I have been forcing myself into dating men……all types of men just to find something else, but I have not retuned any calls and have gotten some angry voicemails back, which I dont blame them. It kills me that after her just getting divorced she feels unwanted, she is even going on dating sites. I love her so much if that made her happy I would want her to find that.
If she only really knew, what would happen?
I abused infant son.I screamed at him when he wouldnt stop crying.I smacked him on his thighs and he cried harder.i left him for meth. and came back in to his life and left…over and over.i missed his 5th birthday.im 24 now…i ******* hate my self.I ******* hate my self.He deserves a ******* wonderful life full of love and support…why the **** would god stick him with me?! I just really wish i could fix myself but i cant because im a ****** stupid weak ass excuse of a human being.
l recently had an abortion ,and l really can’t get over the guilt , can you please give me advice t get over this , l really feel very bad about what l did ,but l did not have an option to it!! Abortion was my only way out
For as long as I can remember, my mother has never loved me.
She called me names ranging from freak to useless bitch.
She is a self-proclaimed devout Christian who likes to use the Bible as an excuse to punish me for no particular reason. Whenever I did something wrong, she would call me Satan’s daughter, and that I’ll go to hell when I die.
She is manipulative, and saw me as an excuse to vent her anger and frustration because of her failed marriage. She likes yell and scream at me whenever she feels like it.
When I was in high school, she took great lengths in isolating me from my friends. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with them on weekends, or speak to them on the phone.
She likes to make promises, then turns right around and said she never made any promises. It really hurts when the person you’re supposed to trust lies right in your face.
about 5 years ago i had a fling with a married woman. it was just sex for me, but it was special for her. it ended badly. i just pretended it didn’t bother me, but it did. i hoped that someday i could tell her that i was sorry. that i had been a jerk and she deserved better…..she died last night. the only words i have now are guilty prayers. she was better than what she got and i am less for not telling her so.
is that strange? let me elaborate.
ive never told anyone im depressed, i hide it mostly
so im not sure exactly how my illness works,sometimes im really high, sometimes im normal, alot of the time i feel depressed. but yeah, i love feeling depressed, does that make sense? it porbably doesnt. i love the nightmares and ill visions, the feeling of emptiness is insane, it like a drug.having a reason to cry and the altered veiw of reality i perceive is amazing.
for me its not an illness, its a new better way of life.
i would never tell or see anyone about it, they’d take the most beautiful thing in my life away.
it is apart of my identity.
it reminds me that i am different.
I raised my daughter with a lot of love and attention. She was so special to be that I basically gave her everything that she needed. I admit we spoiled her. She was a wonderful girl until she started college. She changed so much. She dates other girls, she has casual sex with men also. She uses Marijuana and drinks a lot. But on the other hand she a great grades and even been admitted to medical school. But those other things make me hate her and sometimes I even wish bad things to happen to her. I prefer her to be a better person instead of having god grades. Her friends love her because she’s very funny also. I hope that someday I can overcome these feelings that I have towards her