too smart

I know my girlfriends password to all her emails, facebook, and phone accounts. she thinks i dont know them. I know when she lies and tries to deceive me. i know she is not as smart as me, so i use that to my advantage. i have deleted facebook posts, some emails, and some comments from others. sometimes i feel for her because there are times when she thinks she’s being smarter than me, and because of my smarts, that will never happen.

Secretly, I am a part time male escort

I am typical guy with regular life, job, and interests but also have done all sorts of escorting jobs and sexual acts off and on, part-time for several years. I have all forms of sex with men and once in awhile couples. Though I consider myself straight and date women, love feminity, I get hired mostly by dirty older men.
I like getting into character, the thrill of being a hired whore, the attention and making extra money.

I’ve met some very hot female and transgendered escort friends so that has been fun too.

I would do all sorts of crazy porn too if I could keep somewhat anonymous..but have not done it.

I feel I can stop anytime and look forward to dating a great girl.

Mother-in-Law

I hate my mother-in-law. She is a horrible parent that constantly puts down her children. She tells them that they are horrible people and that she is embarrassed by them. She tells them that she is dying or moving away to get them to feel sorry for her.

The truth is, she is the embarrassment. She makes good money, but is unable to live within her means. She borrows money for the “payday loans” type places until she cannot borrow any more. She doesn’t pay them back and now none will load her any money.

She also borrows money from my wife (her daughter) all the time. Its the only time she is nice to her daughter….

Recently last month she needed to borrow $400 or lose her car (that she just bought). We didn’t really have the money at that time having just taken a vacation. When we told her we couldn’t make the loan, she proceeded to write my wife a long email detailing how my wife was such a rotten person and that she felt sorry for our son.

I had to call her out on this. I usually don’t get involved with my wife’s family, but this was the straw that broke my back.

Of course, her attitude changed completely once I called her out. Now I am the a-hole and she loves her daughter will all her might.

Luckily, my wife sees her bull and is not falling for it.

I really, really hope that she follows thru with her threat to move away…..

Blackmailed

I’ve known her since she was very little. I was her dad and she was my little girl for may years. We had a great friendship for years that we both appreciated. I am no longer married to her mother nor am I her biological father. Shes over the legal age in the state where we live. But none of this helps me figure this out. One day she put the moves on me after realizing the tension I sometimes felt around her. Yes, once she got older she made me nervous. We were so close and talked about everything. Like best friends. She was quite forcefull and succeeded in getting a passionate kiss out of me. She was all over me and for a second it even felt right. After a while she started theatening to tell unless I continue to give her money or be there for her whenever she calls. Sometimes she wants to make out more but I manage to resist. I can’t believe she would do this. No one we know would approve of what what happened which is why I feel trapped. On top of this, she acts as if nothing is wrong otherwise.

Scared And Depressed

I am 17 and the doctors think im going through menopause; i have always dreamed of having kids, so this is like losing a family member.

my mother is kicking my friend who was living with us out, and im too scared to live at home with my mother, even though i know its the right place for me.

my mother never listens to me unless it affects her. She continually puts me down and makes me feel like a burden to her.

im failing school, even though im a bright student, all i want to do is sleep, i sleep 10 – 15hours at a time unless i force myself to get out of bed, but when i do i dont feel like ever doing anything.

i want to drop out of school and do a photography course, its amazing, its early mornings but its something i enjoy; but mum says unless shes getting centerlink im not doing it.

i seriously am watching the world around me crumble to pieces, and theres nothing i can do to stop it

im sorry dad

my fathers a racsit, and im in love with my black boyfriend. im scarred that ill lose my family, that my father and society will hate me because of who i fell in love with.

i want to cut again

i’ve cut since december 09
my parents found out around march and that just made me want to do it more
even thought they told me not to i still did secretly
i have stoped for almost 2 months now
because this guy started liking me and i told him about it and he doesnt want me to ever do it again
i love him so much and i dont want to hurt him
but i really want to cut
i want to feel the pain again
i need to feel the pain again!!!
:’(

i just want someone

all i want is someone to not leave me and be with me.

Dear Dad

For years I let you manipulate me into hating my mother. I hated her for most of my childhood because of you. You seperated from her time and again, only to beg for her back each time. I didn’t know anything except for what you had told me. I didn’t believe anything she said. When I was 17 that changed.

She began to tell be all about what you had been doing. Your so called ‘morals’, you sell weed and pills to my older sister. You don’t smoke it but you buy it by the pound. You pop pills just to make it through the day. When I was nine I was locked out of our house because you had passed out on the couch from drugs. You dropped my off at my grandmother’s so that you could go party.

When money issues arose, you begged my mom to come home. You said that I needed a mother. And she came home, every time, for her children.

Years later, after dealing with your anger issues everyday and slowly bonding with my mother I find the oppurtunity to move out. When you left my mother for someone 20 years younger than youself. I stayed with mom for as long as I could, but I had to leave. For myself. You introduce me to your new woman. I’m in shock. My mother is beautiful. Always has been. This woman, she is a dog. All she cares about is your ‘money’.

Mom shows me text messages from you about drugs, and she cries. She wanted her family back in one piece. Against my advice she takes you back. I become angry with her. You tell me you want to leave again. You aren’t paying her bills anymore if you aren’t there either. “I’ll move home.” I tell you. “I’ll pay her bills. And if I can’t, would you let me live in the dark?” You say nothing. My mother finally realizes that you aren’t needed. She kicks you out. And without you knowing, she filed for divorce today. She’s stronger than she ever has been. After talking to her, and everyone else around me, for the first time I feel as though the fog has cleared. I see you for what you really are. You stole from my mother and I. And we are taking it back.

It hurts me to think of my life without you. I love you, and have always been your little girl. But I won’t let my mother be wronged by you anymore. Your gone again, with another woman and her child. You tell my mother you always try to call me. There are no missed calls on my phone. You still trying to use me against her, but no more.

I’m so STUPID.

i used to love this girl she was the most amazing girl ever , and the most amazing thing is that she loved me back , i spend many years studing in highschool with her and never had the guts to tell her “hey i like you” and when i finally do it’s to late because i’m in a different country and have cancer the worst part is that she said she liked me even though i had cancer and was really far away, but as i got to know her better i realised she was just using me to get to the states she had a lot of boyfriends and in all her relationships she was sexually active she was just using me, she was using me because she knew no one else would take her just a dumb**s like me would take her, and i felt for it , i mean i was so blind , i feel like dogsh*t i mean who can honestly fall in love with a loser that haves cancer WHO?! no one thats who…..

lie..

i lied to all my friends about having bulimia to get attention.

They thought I didn’ hear them

I’ve been living at college for a few years. Moved back in with my parents for the summer. Unfortunately, the walls haven’t gotten any thicker. I’m not refering to being upset about hearing them have sex. That never bothered me.

The part that upsets me is I can hear everything they say about me through the wall. Most mornings in high school, I woke up hearing all the little things that disappoint them, all my quirks they can’t stand, every way I fall short, how I cause them problems. By the time they were done. I didn’t have to nitpick myself as a teenager stereotypically does. I was too busy picking up the fragments of self worth I was able to salvage. I actually tried hard at that point not to let them down…now I’m in college they actually have something to gripe about.

Now I have moved down to the basement, but every time I hear them talking I have a panic attack because I think its about me.