Cutting myself

I feel terrible about what I’ve done. I’m a 15 year old girl, and for a short period of time I was extreamly depressed. Things were not going well for me at all. And I actually resourced to cutting myself. I don’t know why I thought this would help me, but I did it afew times. The thing is… once you cut yourself the first time, it’s easier to do it again. Eventually I realized on my own, that this was not the answer, and I stopped. I used a perforated kitchen knife. I still have scares on my left wrist. I did it once more months later, but got caught, I feel horrible. I hope you won’t judge me too harshly, and I just wanted to know if God can forgive me for this. Does He forgive me? :(

It’s not you, it’s me… Or is it?

I found out that you were cheating on me, with multiple women. From early on in my pregnancy up until a month after our daughter was born.
I confronted you about it. We talked it out and I guess it’s better. You told me that, because of your past experience with women cheating on you, you push people away as soon as you get close. I do the same thing.
What you don’t know, is that I am continuing to push you away, because I’m still in pain.
I won’t break up with you because I’m sure no one else would want me.
I went to meet a guy today. We were supposed to meet at 3. 4:30 rolled around, and he still hadn’t shown up. Whether this was intentional or not, I’m still not sure.
If I break up with you, I know I’ll come running back. I always do.
Every day, people are showing me that I’m not good enough. You joined the club.
I’ve returned to cutting and I’m a matter of days away from binging and purging again.
I can’t talk to you, either because the words lodge in my throat, or because you won’t listen. I’ve written letters to you, explaining how I feel. The apologies last for a day, and then you hate me again.
Why do I always fall in love with guys who will never feel the same?

confused

i moved from manhattan to cleveland.no family here. i move for a guy who isnt even here.he’s in iraq. im not even sure i want to be in this relationship.i’m torn between joining the peace corp and staying here with him.he wants a family in the future,i dont. i dont think we even have much in common.the sex is getting better,but it isn’t enough.im starting to think im wasting my life here.

What happend to me?

I have been talking to this guy recently and got really close. I told him I really liked him; and he said he might feel the same. I logged on to facebook today to see: “…is in a relationship with…”
I stared at it; angry, jelous and sad for a while.
This girl hates me, i don’t like her.
Why is life so unfair.

My big brother

Okay, so I know I’m a coward. I cant tell people face to face, so I go to the internet instead. I’ll try and keep this short. I love my brother more than anything in this entire world. He is the best big brother that anyone could ever wish for. He has always been there for me, we’ve always been close. I am 15 years old, he is 18. We have the same mother, but different dads. We live with my dad and our mom. I dont even know how to put it, but he’s gorgeous. Everyone thinks so too. He brings home so many girls, its insane. He’s got these hazel/green eyes and tan skin. He surfs all the time, so he has a great body too. He’s got curly hair. He has one of the most beautiful smiles, you couldnt even imagine. He smells soooo good to. Do you know where Im going with this? Once I came home early, I thought no one was home. I could hear my brother and one of his girlfriends having sex, through his door. It bothered me, I was jealous. I was jealous of his girlfriend. It was the first time I felt like that towards one of his girls. It scared me. I feel an attraction for my brother. My brother has always hated ALL of the guys I like, and I like that. I like his attention. Dating isnt the same, no other guys compare to him. My feelings are becoming more intense, I’m afraid I’ll act on my feelings, and I’m afraid he’ll notice. I distance myself away from him, and I can tell he thinks I’m mad at him. I can’t be around him when Im thinking of ripping his clothes off every time I see him. I dont know whats wrong with me. What if he feels the same way? I doubt it. What do I do? Im scared, but I want him so bad.

No Place for Me

Here I am at 34yo and despite traveling across the country and living in a handful of states for education and work and having more opportunities to explore the world than my parents and siblings, I am no closer to being happy with my life nor feeling as if I have found a place to call home.

I have people around me who I call friends, but none of them really know me nor seem to want to really take the time or interest to get to know me. These friends all feel superficial. If I quit my job and left this area I have been in for 6 years now I feel like no one would really care nor miss me. I keep trying to leave and find a better paying job but nothing comes of my searches. So I continue to be in a job I’m not overly happy in, in a workplace where I feel I have little to no connections or relationships with people anymore, and in a city that, despite being so large, leaves me feeling so alone and uncared for.

I’m part of a community that seems to think anyone past 30yo is not attractive nor worthy of a relationship anymore, therefore attempts to get to know someone or start a relationship are declining each day as I get older. Plus if I don’t a certain trendiness or body then that’s two more strikes against me.

I wish I could just tell the world to **** off and run away from all of this bullshit and do what I truly want. But financial debt keeps me anchored.

Where is my happiness? Where is my peace? Where is my place to fit in?

Wife sold our fairy tale for magic beans

I can’t tell my wife what her affair really did to me.
When I met my wife, I found her beautiful. She was everything I wanted, physically and intellectually. She was a little messed up, but I understood her problems and she understood mine. We married. We have 2 kids. After the second kid, our sex life died. Completely. I was miserable. I spent years trying to fix it, trying to get you in the mood, trying to ignore you to get you to pursue me (which was great for you), EVERYTHING. After 4 years of trying, I gave up. I decided that I loved you so much that I’d just go celibate. I’d do that for you, even though it was the most important thing for me in a relationship. It’s how I know love, how I feel connected, how I feel close. I decided to give that up, just so I could spend time with you. I decided to focus on everything that was GOOD in my life, including you, and become a different – a better – person.
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I have an affair with a professor

I have an affair with a professor at university. I don´t visit his courses, so its not for grades. I simply like him a lot. He is married, but I don´t care.

Sick and tired of people avoiding their responsibilities

I am so tired of my family being so selfish. They think that all I should do is take care of them and their children amd I am getting very sick of it. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I can not go anywhere because I am watching children. I can’t go shopping, visit friends (that is if I had any friends) or even go to a ****ing doctors appointment. If I do go anywhere I have to drag kids along with me. Something has got to give and I will not let it be me. I deserve a life to. My family needs to step up and take care of their own responsibliities. I am going to start sticking up for my rights as a person. I told my son that he needs to put his child in daycamp because I am not watching her throughout the summer. I work to and can barely keep up with it. I have a headache all the time anymore because of the stress and pressure I am under. I almost called the doctor to see if he would put me in the hospital for exhausation because I am so sick of the pressure my family puts me under. They are selfish and uncaring and I think I need to become the same way and see how they like it.

Friends

I hate every last one of my friends for what they’ve done to me, and what I go through every day. I consistently feel abandoned, whenever I just want to hang out, or talk to them, I get blown off. It’s been happening this way for two full years now. I get new friends, and it keeps happening. What am I doing wrong?

Every time I feel like this, I’m reminded of every time in the past that a friend rejected me, or said something about me that wasn’t theirs to share, or just generally ****** with me when things we’re already bad enough. I don’t know how to deal with it anymore.

I just want to be in a group of people where I feel at home. I keep thinking I find it and then this happens again. I always end up crying alone in my room, afraid to go out anymore. I keep telling myself that things will get better, I keep telling myself that I can make friends. But now I’m starting to wonder and worry, is it my fault? What can I do. Please, someone, anyone. Help.

Wherever you are…

When I was fifteen, I was raped. He was sixteen, and he told me the whole time that this was what people in relationships do. I was hit and badly bruised, and he left me after. Now that I look back, I wasted my high school life being afraid of boys, relationships, and letting this secret consume me. Not everyone will treat you with cruelty. Everything is going to be okay now.

Dream Of Murder

i used to constantly fantasIze about how it may feel to taKe someones lIfe, to Look into their eyes as they draw their Last brEath, the power and the rush it might yeilD. there Are so Many what if’s.

Lets just sAy I don’t faNtasize anymore.

SORRY