i am in love with my husbands brother….

Posted by anonymous in Spouse on Feb 5th, 2010 | 14 comments

my husband and i had our 1st daughter when we were young…. we did the responsible thing… we got married..bought a home..started a family and a life…

i have given up everything.. college..career… friends.. everything because my daughter means more to me than anything ever….

you however,didnt give anything up.. you got worse.. you kept partying…you stayed out all night.. you never came home… you didnt know anything about she or i….

at this point we have been married for 8 yrs…. we have now a second daughter… who also means more to me than anything else.. for our daughters sake i have stayed this long….

your brother and i are in love..real love…

~he kisses me on the forehead always, bc he wants to
*i ask you to,, you ask why and get annoyed

~he wants me all the time. and makes me feel AMAZING about ME!!
*you .. i have to remind you to kiss me ..even after not seeing you in 3 months .(he travels alot for “work”). and we never have sex because i can completely throw myself at you..and you find a reason we cant have sex..yet you blame it on me later.

~he calls me all day long because he misses me and WANTS to talk to me
*i have to remind you to call me ..you have to write it on your hand to remember to call me..and when we do talk it is for 5 minutes then you always have to go for some reason or another

~he brings me flowers and buys me sweet little nothings all the time for no other reason, but he loves me and was thinking of me…
*i havent gotten a gift from you for my birthday ,valentines day, christmas.. nothing.. let alone no reason.. in 8 years…

~he pays attention to the girls, and loves them.
*you are too busy to pay attention to them.(and that hurts me worse than knowing you dont love me anymore)

i could go on and on… but, to make a long story short….
your brother has loved me for 5 years.. and i am scared to lose him… but, i cant bring myself to leave you..because even though the feelings are clearly, not reciprocated, i still love you..
but, i am also in love with your brother..

Husband

Posted by Anonymous in Spouse on Feb 4th, 2010 | 4 comments

Sometimes I get disgusted with myself that I married him.

Unprotected and Young

Posted by Anonymous in Sex on Feb 3rd, 2010 | 16 comments

I have genital warts and I keep having unprotected sex. I just turned 19 last week

There is no god

Posted by NoGod in Guilt on Feb 2nd, 2010 | 21 comments

I’ve seen human life at it’s lowest points. I have seen a family of 14 nearly lose 6 members in what was supposed to be a great vacation out on a boat but the generator blew up. I have seen a young man wreck his motor cycle and was thrown close to 50 feet into a ditch. I have seen a grandmother and her granddaughter t-boned by a drunk driver. I have seen all of them breathe again because I was close enough to save them. It wasn’t Gods will that they survive, it was my training that kept them alive. I’m not an EMT, Nurse or Doctor. I am just an everyday man that has been tested. I’ve passed the test. I’ve saved/helped save 9 people and I am only 24. How many more will I have to save or how many will I not be able to save?

That is what I fear the most….not being able to save. I’d rather die myself.

My secret confession

Posted by hopeless in Guilt on Feb 2nd, 2010 | 3 comments

I have to stop thinking about the past. I was 21 and pregent still living at home with my parents. I was seeing two men. I know both of them very well. I stop seeing one before I found out I was pregent. I prayer that it was the one I was still with. I did advise the other that I was pregent and told me that I prayed to god that it was not his. I found out a month after she was born that her blood type was A pos, the man I broke up with is AB pos. I am B pos and my husband not is O pos. I never told the man I married that the baby was not use that it was the other mans. I have had guilt about this. I just recently called him but did not speak with him, I did leave my number though. I know he has a life and family, I do not disrupt that I just want to share want a awsome girl she is. I realy need to stop thinking about this because it is affecting my marriage and why husband lives me. I am hoping this helps me move on a stop worring about this.

sad state of the past

Posted by Anonymous in Family on Feb 1st, 2010 | 2 comments

my mother died when i was 12 she hung her self in the shower cubical in hospital after being admitted after a car crash including myself,it was deliberate .
My uncle hung himself a yr. before after a drunken fight with his girlfriend ,she found him hanging in the shed , she thought he had gone for a walk to cool things off.

there father ( my grandfather) raped the both of them from age 3 to 16 , my mother fell pregnant to him and naturally aborted she did not know until she found the baby ( the size of palm ) in the toilet bowel .

heavy i know but true .

I wish I had died that day.

Posted by Anonymous in Regret on Feb 1st, 2010 | 9 comments

About half a year ago, I had almost succeeded in ending my life, but because I cared so much about someone taking notice, I waited until a family member came into the upstairs hallway where I had been sitting. I even had a full notebook of suicide letters. My mother came up after 30 minutes and found me with deep cuts all over my wrists. They weren’t deep enough though. But I wish I had gone deeper.

After that, my mother went down and brought my brother up with her. He sat down with me, and my mother went down again to make an emergency call to Brampton Hospital.

I felt so horrible after that, because it was the first time I had seen my older brother cry. The only thing I could say was sorry while he held me. He told me to stop because saying that made it worse. I found out then that he was also suicidal.

As it is obvious, I didn’t go through with it. Only because I love my brother dearly. Which is also a problem in itself. I’m in love with my biological brother. I know its wrong, and I can’t tell anyone about it for I fear what will happen. Then I will surely have the motivation to ending it all. This is not the type of love that most teenagers take lightly. It is not like.

Please, don’t say anything like “You’re disgusting, how could you have feelings like that for your own flesh and blood?!”
I just wanted to let it out. I’ve been keeping it down in my deepest memories and thoughts for so long, and it was hurting so much to keep it locked within myself.
You may want to know my age just for the heck of it. I’m only 16, soon to be 17 in July.

I guess my hopeless sin is lust.