I love a woman who’s completely out of reach

There’s a girl (now a woman) that I’ve been attracted to since high school. I spent three years waiving and saying hi to her, but never had the courage to have a conversation or try to become her friend. I’m almost 23, and have never been on a date, kissed, or had any other romantic contact. I can’t see any reason why a woman would want to be with me.
It’s been five years since I graduated high school, and six years since she has. She’s dated a professional footballer, graduated from an expensive, high-quality Jesuit school, speaks two or three languages, is a second degree black belt in Kyuki-Do, has lived an entire year in Germany, and placed pretty well in the Kommerzbank’s 26-mile Frankfurt marathon.
I know all that through my obsession with and research about her, although I’ve never directly bothered or stalked her. She probably doesn’t know anything about what I do, unless she can tell that I visit her profile on Facebook to see a picture of her; just to get a glimpse of my ideal woman. Ultimately, I’ve stayed well away and let her live her life. I’d like to think that I truly care about her more than I do myself.
Despite that respect, I can never stop thinking about her, which makes me feel hopeless and suicidal. I literally get a feeling between elation and a stroke at the thought of her. She is so far above me that I can’t even see her.
It’s ruining my life. I don’t see any other woman as even being in the same league as her, although I am starting to understand more and more that she’s just another selfish yuppie Caucasian female. That doesn’t stop me from idolizing her, though. I base my life goals around trying to prove to myself that I’m good enough for her. I’ve improved my own life a lot just trying to reach that standard: exercising, eating right, losing weight, language learning, going to a university, entering study abroad programs. I’m even ready to sell out and become a yuppie, if it will bring me closer to her. I’d abandon my interest and selfishly focus on going to Europe for her. I’d adore Starbucks and where North Face and Columbia Sportswear for her. I’d believe in a religion for her. I’d adopt certain values for her. I’d move where she wants me to move. I’d have her ideal size of family. I’d change my major. I’d do almost anything for her, except kill.
I’ve already wasted most of my youth. I’m thinking about committing suicide, because I don’t think I have what it takes to find any happiness in life. Even if I did somehow meet her again, I’m sure there would be the same lack of courage that has always kept her at a great distance from me. If you got this far, thank you for reading my disheveled opus of my own mediocrity.

Dear Auntie:

I think you are a selfish, biased, ungrateful, rude, hypocritical bitch. I do not like you now, and cannot remember doing so in the past. The friendship boat has sailed for you and I, and indeed is not coming back. You know me as well as you know the queen of England, yet you have somehow taken it upon yourself to try and identify who I am as a person. You do not understand me, nor I do understand you (except the fact that you breathe complaints). If you had not had children with my uncle, I would most certainly approve of a divorce, because I have never liked the idea of you being relate to me. What kind of family member tells a suicidal person to get over it, because “the world isn’t going to wait for you”? What kind of family member ignores, disrespects, and walks all over another family member? No “family” member of mine that’s what. You treat me as if I am an invisible, second class citizen, and if I were to never see you again after today, I would sleep in peace.

Attraction to little girls.

After coming into this site and reading some of the confessions i thought that it might help me to tell somebody in the world about my problem. I think im attracted to little girls. I have never touched one or laid a finger on one before but i always seem to get horney around them.

I know it is sick, and i can recognize that, and i honestly believe that i have strong enough morals to never harm or to touch little girls, but that is what gets me off.

I have looked at pictures in the past, but have never touched a little girl ever.

I think that what is wrong with me is that i completely understand that it is wrong, but what scares me is that once i get horney i cant stop. I try to keep things to my imagination, once in a while on the computer. It is not until afterwords that i feel any remorse.

I know that this is sick but i dont think that i can tell anybody. I dont know why i am not attracted to girls of my own age? Im 19, not bad looking, i have a good paying job, my own house, and i am getting 3.9gpa in my university program.

This is the small bump in my life that i cant seem to get over. Any advice?

I change in the bathroom in gym

because my legs and arms are covered in welts

I hate everything about myself
I’m ugly
I want to die.

Confused

After reading all these confessions on this site, I finally have the courage to confess to my own little secret.

I’m a married lady, and have been married to a wonderful man for the past 2 years. We have a semi good sexlife. It is just my sex drive is much higher than his, but I’m totally cool with it.

It is just that I have this urge to have sex with another man, just some random guy. I love sex, and would just like to know how it would be with another man, because i have been with my husband for so long. I really really really would like to screw some guy and the thought of it is driving me nuts! but on the other hand I am too scared of being caught out. i thought about joining a chat line, but will all What can i do about it?

Then I also have sort of a crush on one of my friends, I can never tell him, because he and my husband gets along very well. I just sometimes wonder where my life would have been if I did not marry my husband. Is it wrong to think about it that way?

I’m so sexually frustrated that i wanna **** someone right now!

I want to be murderer

I want to kill someone in my lifetime and get away with it. I’ve always enjoyed the thought of killing someone. I’m a normally happy and cheery person. I just want to go insane and kill someone one day. I fantasize about being the perfect serial killer. I have many friends, no enemies, a wonderful life, and absolutely no reason to kill. Does that make me already insane?

I’m sleeping with my boss

I never planned on in but one night, when we were on a business trip, it just happened and it has been going on ever since. I know I should stop, but I feel like there’s no turning back.
He has a wife and kinds and if this comes out their lives will be ruined. I would really like to talk to my mom, but she would be heartbroken if she found out what sort of person I’ve become. My father left us when I was 6 because of his affair with a co-worker. My mother was devastated and I don’t think she’d be able to deal with it if I told her I’m basically doing the same thing to someone else…

i dont know what to do

i care about the person i love very much and i think about her every night and day,and i think its wrong because im agirl too, and i keep harming myself with basicaly anything sharp i can find, my learning mentors tried to say i self harm and ive deniedit to him completly so im now abig fat liar! and i really want to tell my friend how i feel but im too scared of losing her as a friend and her hating me and maybe even wanting to kill me, i dont want to keep ,lying to her when she asks me ” why do you self harm “.
4 of my friends allready know how i feel about her and i dont think i can trust them to not tell her and if they figured it out for thwemselves how long will it take for her to figure it out? i dont want her to find out from anyone else ii thgink if she does ever find out she should hear it from me, but every time i try to tell her i cant find the words and the truth is its slowly killing me inside cause i cant resist punnishing myself and drawing blood its like a need or something!

Sexually Deprived

I haven’t seen my husband for two months. He is currently deployed. You never know what you’re missing until you don’t have it. We are very sexually active couple. Now both of us have gone 60 or so days without any intimacy. Not gonna lie, my hormones are going crazy.
I’m committed to him and this marriage, I knew when I married him that deployment wasn’t going to be easy.
It is definitely not helping either, when a male friend of my husband approached me and wanting to go to movies, or dinner. Especially when he has flirted with me before the deployment happened (in front of my husband). It doesn’t feel right at all, to go out with a man alone on a date situation. Based on how my hormone have been lately, I’d probably maul anyone of an opposite sex.

SUICIDE BRUNETTE

I AM SO TIRED AND SO DEPRESSED. I CAN’T SATND ANYTHING ANYMORE. I JUST WANT TO STOP THE PAIN.I WANT TO DIE. I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE. I’M TIRED OF BEING SAD.I’LL PUT AN END TONIGHT. :(

Confused

My boyfriend and i have just recently broken up (around 2 months ago) anyway he got a new girlfriend a month after that. and of couse i was heart broken and i missed him so much i even did so much to try and get him back. but he was still a good friend and we never hated eachother. so i decided that id just try to just be his bestfriend and nothing more. he came over to my house a couple of times even while he was with the other girl. and on the 2nd visit we did stuff. he said he missed me and well things just happened. and i like it and he does too. but is it wrong? well now he’s broken up with his girlfriend and were both single. and he’s been over alot and we’ve done alot together but i dont think he wants to get together with me. so i thought but us always “doing stuff” to eachother that this would help us but i dont know anymore. so today i made a big decision to tell him that i dont want us to “do stuff” while he’s over anymore because it was hurting me. and it does, it makes me miss him so much and saddens me that we’re not together. i dont know what will happen next, but i hope it turns out ok and that my decision doesnt affect our friendship.

I killed the dog…

I did a terrible thing a couple of days ago after finding the dog rolling around in his own shit and piss, everything was a disaster for the umptienth time… I lost it. I was enfuriated beyond reason, and in a blind rage I beat him, might have broken a couple of legs. Then I stuffed him in the garbage can, picked up the trash bag, tied it, walked it outside and threw it in the dumpster. It was a really cold night… The next morning the garbage truck picked up the trash… he is gone.I feel slighty remorseful since I have always loved animals, but enough was enough. We are all going to be better, less stressed out, cleaner, happier, etc…