why did i do that?

When I was 15, I agreed to strip at my next door neighbor’s 18th birthday party. It was the most fun I had ever had. If I hadn’t let myself get fat, i would totally be a stripper.

I Hate My boyfriend and I Hate being mom to the kid we Have

I didn’t even have this kid. I just donated the womb and I didn’t even mean to do that. He purposefully didn’t pull out because he said he was ” mad”. Yeah he was mad at the other chick he was freaking. When it came time to get the abortion, he takes 100 dollars and tricks it off on another fat skank in a cheap motel room. I tried everything I could to kill this kid and hopefully me with it, I hate adoptions, I couldn’t give up the kid after it’s been in me this long. The only reason why I love her this much is because she was living in me for 7 months. Yeah she was a preemie, apparently she’s here for a reason, any other baby would’ve died after living in me. He told me I should’ve “kept my legs closed to a mad man” and how I could’ve put her up for adoption despite it wasn’t what I wanted and it was my money that was being used. I can’t stand looking at him and he’s only here now because I’m making sure I fuck him up mentally. I don’t love him, I don’t even respect him. I have to get drunk to have sex with him and if I’m not drunk I just lay there. The Poor little girl deserves much better than both of us, he did the crap on purpose to keep me at the house. When I did work, I didn’t want to come home I couldn’t stand looking at her, i couldn’t stand smelling him. I would ask my boss everyday for overtime, I’d even do a double I just didn’t wanna go home. I’ve been wanting to cheat on him but I can’t I don’t even find sex pleasurable anymore, it disgust me. I feel like no one wants me anyway. He has another little girl with a chick who he had a fling with a couple years ago. He first lied about her being pregnant then he blames me for why he was there in the first place. Never have I felt to compelled to kill someone, I fought him last night and nearly beat his skull with my heater, like he did to me 2 years ago. I only stopped because I didn’t want the cops at my fathers house and I wasn’t going to prison behind someone who deserves a slow painful death. I told him I’d marry him just to make his life hell, since neither one of us believe in divorce. I wouldn’t be faithful, I’d lie about the littlest things and make him feel guilty for the things I’ve done. I don’t have much to lose emotionally and I can spare the time. No one has ever walked away from me without missing some part of themselves. Manipulaters often forget that they can be manipulated.

i hate my twin

becuase i’ll never be asgood as her, ill never be a pretty as her, i’ll never be worth the same.

My Boss is Unethical

My boss cheats the company – stupid stuff, “borrowing” 100$ from petty cash, lying about his expense account, manipulating time cards, etc. He lies on reports to make our division look better than we are. I am very uncomfortable working for him, but I need my job, and (used to) love my work. I am afraid to tell his boss because it’s a small corporation and he will know that I am the one who told, since I am the only one who knows. I wish he would get caught and get fired.

Sight

i’m scared…i’m only 25…i have freakin cataracts already…i’m an artist…i don’t want to lose my vision…what will i do…i’ve dealt with Iritis for several years…they told me when i first went to the doctors “6 mos usually this completly subsides.” like i said. 7 years later…now i have cateracts….

no

please….

sexually attracted to my Co-worker

I have been married for 7 years to a wonderfull man and provider to our 3year old son. Sex can be good but doesn’t last very long and I’m still left wanting more. He has little imagination and reluctant to try new things. Yes I do have toys, but they are getting old. For the past 3 weeks I’ve been having intense sexual fantcies for another co-worker. We have shared stories of our sexual history, and what I have learned from him, that he was able to make girls squirt. I was facinated by that fact. And since then I haven’t been able to stop fantasizing about him. I know nothing will EVER happen between us. we just get along really well and that’s all there is. I just have to deal with these fantacies and sexual frustrations by myself.

Waisted My Time

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 7 YEARS AND WE ARE YET TO HAVE CHILDREN OF OUR OWN.MY WIFE REFUSES TO CONCEIVE BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN OF HER OWN.HER MOTHER TOLD ME SHE DOES NOT WANT KIDS OF HER OWN,CONFIRMING WHAT I HAVE BEEN SUSPECTING SINCE 5 YEARS.THAT IF I TRY AND ITS NOT WORKING OUT,I SHOULD FIND MYSELF ANOTHER WOMAN.

SHE VIRTUALLY LIVES IN THE KITCHEN.SMOKES AND DRINKS HEAVILY THERE.I DO NOT SMOKE BUT OCCASIONALLY DRINK.
WHEN THERE IS MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN US,SHE REFUSES TO TALK TO ME FOR MONTHS.THE LAST TIME BEING 4 MONTHS CONSECUTIVELY.ACCUMULATIVELY IN A YEAR WE TALK LESS THAN 5 MONTHS.THE LAST QUARREL,SHE THREATENED TO SHUT HER MOUTH WHICH SHE HAS DONE.WHEN TALKING WILL RESUME I DO NOT KNOW.SHE TREATS HER MOTHER LIKE THAT TOO.HER FATHER IS LATE.

SHE REFUSES ME SEX BUT MASTUBATES.THE LAST TIME I CAUGHT HER,I WAS LIVID.WHY?BECAUSE SHE REFUSES ME BUT MASTUBATES.I ASKED HER WHY SHE MASTUBATES?HER ANSWER CAME IN FORM OF QUESTION:”WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I TOUCHED HER”?WHEN SHE REFUSED ME 3 DAYS BEFORE!HER REASON FOR REFUSING ME IS ALWAYS BEING TIRED OR I DID NOT ASK WELL ENOUGH.WILL I GO ON MY KNEES TO ASK MY WIFE FOR SEX?

HAVE AND STILL SET TRAP FOR HER IN CASE SHE SLEEPS WITH OTHER MEN,NO,SHE DOES NOT.SHE IS SO RECLUSIVE,MORE THAN THE PRESIDENT OF NORTH KOREA BUT STILL EXPECTS ME TO GUESS WHAT SHE IS THINKING.

I LOVE KIDS SO MUCH AND WANT TO HAVE MY OWN.AM SO SO DESPERATE TO BE A FATHER THAT I WILL NOT MIND FROM OUTSIDE WEDLOCK.UNDERSTANDABLE SOME MIGHT NOT WANT KIDS DUE TO CAREER,FEAR OR SOME OTHER REASON BUT NOT WANTING AT ALL TO ME IS STRANGE.WHEN WE TALKED ABOUT IT,HER REASON WAS WHY SHOULD ONE BRING INTO THE WORLD A CHILD THAT WILL ONE DAY DIE LIKE EVERYOTHER LIVING THING?AM YET TO UNDERSTAND!

HAVE MADE UP MY MIND TO WALK AWAY FROM HER AT THE END OF THE YEAR.

My second kid

I love my 9 year old more then anything in the world… I feel no bond whatsoever to my 2 month old.

I love you but I need more.

I love you husband. You are the kindest and most gentle man I have ever known. Your touch still makes me giddy even after 12 years. Last April I made the decision to pursue an affair. Since June I have someone else that I am falling in love with in my life too. In addition to that precious man, I also have very close friendships with men and we flirt heavily all the time. I want more or many more I can’t tell.Everyone around us loves you because you are a great and wonderful man. I make sure I do my best to make others think the worst of you in case I leave and need to justify myself. I can’t help wanting more even though you are more than I could ever hope for. You found out about my friend and it broke you into pieces even though it wasn’t sexual. I am going to divorce you baby to save you from any future hurt I could cause you. I am divorcing you for your sake even though you beg and plead for the love that I want to give but don’t know how. I am truly sorry.

I Want To Go Anorexic

I hate my body, and I haven’t found any other way to lose weight. Every day after I eat I want to go and throw it up. I’ve been trying to go anorexic but I dont want my parents to find out, or my friends. Im 13 going on 14, our teachers are going really heavy on trying to teach us how bad it is to get that disorder. But I want it, wish I had it. Then kids wouldn’t make fun of me. I wish I knew how I would feel and react after purging becuase I dont want to deal with the guilt of what I would be doing, but I think Im just going to do it. And get it over with.

I am embarrassed to take all of my kids in public with me!

I have five kids and I feel embarrassed going to the store with all of them. I am divorced and would like to start dating….but I have noticed that men do not approach women walking around with a whole bunch of kids. Now my kids are all well manner, well dressed and very nice looking….I just feel like people look at me like something, is wrong with me because I have so many kids.

Now I would never hide from a man my children, once I got to know him and felt he was worthy of meeting my kids…. and that we had the possibility of having a long term relationship.

I am a nice looking and educated woman….that just feels that men who see me with my five kids, will think that I am either an easy piece of ass or that I am desperate for a man and therefore will except anything from a man.

I am very picky and will not accept just any type of man….I just feel like men…don’t need to know how many kids I have until we truly have a connection and a future. Basically…I would get detailed about me and my life after they pass the interview and the background check.

I am curious to know if other people have ever felt this way???

Raped

I was raped over two years ago and I was a virgin at the time. I am having a hard time getting over it.