I turned into the mother I neer wanted to be today

My son tried my patience to the point today where I was yelling at him more than I have ever yelled. I have some memories of my mother being very distrot (sp?) and I think I may have planted some of those memories in my son’s head now.

I’m Republican and GAY!

10 years on the day of my graduation my best friend told me he was gay but even though I’m from a Republican family I was ok with it. Then 5 year ago he told me he loved me and I also love him. We now live in NY and are happy together BUT now my parents have found out I\’m in a relationship but they don’t know its a guy, I love him but I worry if my parents found out they will hate me.

Former Prostitute

I was prostituting for approx 6 months. I thought that moving half way across the country would cure my pain but it seems to have followed me. I decided to leave the only person that knew about it. Now that Im meeting new people I kind of feel like I will never find someone that I trust enough who will accept that. It was a VERY bad decision and everything is working out so much better for me now, thats just the only thing thats bothering me….who would want to be with someone who has that in their past…

Husband

I love my husband and all my siblings are jealous of my marriage. But no one knows he chats online with other girls about sex, looks at pornography, argues about paying rent, hits me when we fight, forces me to have sex, calls me ugly and fat. I lie to my family about bruises and arguments. And I’m more afraid of being alone than all of these things..

abused

when i was about 9 i used to go to swimming lessons, i was repeatdly abused by another boy in my class.

Secret whore

My boyfriend was a virgin before we were together and I led him to believe I was too (I was with 4 guys before him). He is religious and has even alluded to the fact that he would not think I was “The One” if I wasnt a virgin. 3 years later and its still killing me..

Suicide

my friend Sara committed suicide today. i feel betrayed. killing yourself is the meanest thing you can do to someone its like a big up yours to all the people you leave behind. i m heartbroken i never knew her to be a depressed girl. i just wish people my age could know that its always better the next day.

Raped

4 months ago, this guy i had just met came over to hang out, he kept trying to hook up with me and i kept saying no. then he started being really forceful…he held me down on the ground and ****ed me…all i could say was no and please stop because i was frozen and i didnt know what to do…it was aweful…he made me kiss him goodbye when he left…and i cried myself to sleep. after that, i didnt tell anyone, and i started drinking alot, i would drink until i blacked out. i was scared and depressed and all i could do was drink it all away. my ex bf helped me stop drinking and he helped me feel a little more normal for a while, and it was good. then the guy that raped me started talking to my best friend…its all my fault for not turning him in…so i confronted him, told him to stay away from her nd that i hated him for raping me, he laughed and told me he didnt even care that he did it… i dont know what to do now… i feel completely worthless and so stressed out. i hate him

I killed my baby

I killed my baby son….its benn three years…my husbnd is in jail for it

STAY AT HOME MOM

I am so absolutely sick of cleaning this house. I hate picking up toys. I hate cleaning up poop from the new puppy. I hate waiting on everyone every two seconds. I just want to spend an entire week alone. No kids, no husband, no dog.

I want to eat whatever I can – as much as I can. I hate being reasonable about my food and, well, come to think of it I hate being responsible for a lot of things. I just want to be free of all this nonsense. I just want to be left alone. Is that really the worst thing in the world to ask for?

Glad to Fail

I tried to kill myself when I was 15. I am now almost 30, and for the past 12 years, I can’t even express how glad I am that it didn’t work out.

I know it was last summer, but the memories still haunt me.

I was sexually assaulted last summer.
The person was a friend of mind, a good friend. I had just been rejected by my ex and was crying, broken-hearted and in pain.
All I wanted to do was be comforted by someone.
All I wanted was a shoulder to cry on.
So I called you, hoping you would be there for me.
You live close by and told me to come over so we could talk about it.
I got on the next bus and was there in minutes.
There I was, knocking on your front door in tears.
You opened it and invited me in.
We went into your room and turned on some music, one of our favorite bands.
I had noticed your parents weren’t home but thought nothing of it.
Then you hugged heart broken little me, with tears streaming down my face.
Then, before I knew it, you were kissing me.
Your hands were all over me, and you were undressing me, and yourself.
I stood there in complete shock, and totally naked.
You pushed me onto the bed, and had your arms around me.
I tried to push you off of me, but you’re just too strong.
You started to try and touch me in a lower private area.
I started to come out of shock, and I slapped your hand away.
You said ow and continued to try and hold me down.
I managed to slip away from you, and I started to get dressed.
You bagged me to stay, but once I got dressed, I ran out of your house and began to walk into town, hoping to catch a bus.

Even though all of this happened in a matter of short minutes, I still have nightmares about it all.

I told my mom about what had happened two months after.
My mom talked with yours, and all I asked was that you stayed away from me and never contacted me ever again.
You agreed and we haven’t talked since.

Why do the nightmares still haunt me like this? *Sigh*
I don’t want to go to a therapist, and I don’t really trust them at all, but I think it could help.

What should I do??