I Hate Myself

i have been in a relationship with an asshole for almost 3 years. He is always hot and cold with me, abusive one minute and overly romantic the next. but i stay with him because i lack the confidence and the motivation to find someone better. plus we have great sexual chemistry. i fear in twenty years i’ll be married to him with kids and hate my life, but i can’t ever seem to end it now.
i hate myself for this but usually try to spin the anger toward him.

I’m inbred.

And I’ll always hate myself in a small way because of it.

unhappy

I have been attracted to women for as long as I can remember. Even when I was a child, I remember having ‘crushes’ (although back then I didn’t realize what they were) on different women. I’ve never really been attracted to men.

I came out when I was 18, and I would have done so earlier but my family is Southern Baptist, and would have disowned me. Well, they did so anyways. This year they have been more into pulling me back into the family and me being a part of them.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years, and 6 months ago I cheated on her with a guy. She knew about it the day of, and I was completely honest with her about it. I didn’t want a relationship with the guy, nor the sex, I suppose I was curious since I had never been with a guy. I regret the whole thing totally, and I wish I could take it back.

We agreed to work things out, and things have been better between us. Except the intimacy. She has moved past the incident I mentioned before, and still there is little intimate affection. Sure we cuddle when we go to bed, but not much other than that. And I like to have sex a lot…but it’s like she can go weeks or months without it. I want to be with her but maybe it’s that I don’t feel attractive anymore…I have gained a little bit of weight and I don’t do my hair or makeup anymore. But other people want me……..so I don’t understand.

What do I do???

I’ll be dead soon

I’m dying of a terminal illness, and will very likely be dead by next month. My family doesn’t know; I dread to think of the pain this will cause my mother and my daughter. I’m only 33.

running away

im young im not 18 yet but i want to run away i feel as if my family isnt here for me they took away everything comp..cell..credit cards.my entire social life because i told them i was gay. i hate where i live and i hate the fact that they wont accept me.should i leave or go. if i stay its going to put me threw more torture than it has the past 4 years.i just dont know what to do and plus my mother doesnt beleive me that her nephew sexually abused of me.

whore

I know my mother is a hooker.

Fantasies about sister-in-law

My wife’s sister grabbed me through my jeans years and years ago before we married. Her sister is a hottie, and did some pretty suggestive things a few times with me. In spite of that, I’ve not acted on baser instincts, and I know the sisters love each other. I’ve even had some weird suggestions come from my wife before about her sister. Don’t want to mess things up, but boy, is this tempting.

my roomamte

I found a video of my room mate and his NASTY FAT GF doing all kinds of shit.

Continue Reading this Confession

Sick

I can not stay faithful to anyone no matter how much I love them. I enjoy sex the most when there is money involved and I mean ALOT of money. I will never have children because I secretly believe I am mentally ill and I do not want to pass it on. I hate myself. I am not happy unless I am the most important person in everyone’s life. I went to rehab when I only smoked weed and now I am an alcoholic and cocaine addict and noone knows. Despite all of this, I am happier than I have ever been.

Double Life

Sometimes I feel like I live a double life. I am the responsible one in the family. The one who is always there for everyone and puts everyones needs in front of my own. I am the favorite daughter, the best friend, and the innocent all-american girl next door. Although I have no kids of my own, I watch my nieces and nephews, and several children in the neighborhood practically every day. I am the kind of person who, when I die, everyone will say “She was the nicest person I ever knew. She was always there for everyone…..ect.” But I have another side……I am afriad to open myself up to men. I have never had a boyfriend. But I love to have sex. I have sex with random men all the time. I love porn and talking dirty online. I have had sex with men for money just for the thrill of it. I at any given time have at least 2 friends with benefits, and I love to sleep with men who are married or in commited relationships. I am a dirty whore, a homewreckers, and a prostitute. But to my friends and family I am a godsend.

Exposing my self

If my mom found out what I do she would kill me. She devoriced my dad when I was 6 and over the years did date a few men but always said she would never marry again. Two years ago her boyfriend moved in with us and he is very nice and very handsome. I am attracted to him but know he really loves my mom. Over time I would try peeking at him a was able to see him naked a few times. Then one time last year I notice him looking at me in my underware after school. At first I was embarrassed by it but it made me hot knowing he was looking at me. When my mom is out of the house and we are alone I go around in front of him sometimes in my underware and sometimes with just a towel around me. I have even been able to let him see me naked four or five times so far. I always act like it is no big deal. I can tell he likes looking at me and I get aroused by it and masturbate a lot. I know I shouldn’t do this and feel guilty sometimes because three times I could see he had an erection. One time a few weeks ago he was in his pajamas and I walked into the kitchen in a towel. I bent over three or four times and know he saw my vagina and rear. When I turned around facing him I couldn’t help but look and could see his erection. I almost laughed because he was blushing and sat down right away. I looked right at it and he knew I saw it. I just sat and talked to him for a few minutes and went back to my room to masturbate. I know I can turn him on but as much as I like it I know I shouldn’t tease him like that. My mom has never said anything to me so I’m sure he doesn’t tell her what I’m doing. I keep telling myself I will stop it but can’t help how much of a thrill it gives me.

I am a bad son

I am a bad son. I shut myself out from my own feelings most of the time, even at work. I am 21, and I believe I have some form of social anxiety, as I blush many times each day while at work or in front of other people, except my family. I blush at the simplest things, walking in front of people, talking to people, getting asked questions, it bothers me but I do not have the courage to tell even my own family about this.

As far as my parents go, they are very loving towards me, and sometimes I treat them like garbage. I love them dearly, but I haven’t told them that in years. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. Tonight I got in a fight with my mom because she moved things from my desk that were important to me and I spent a long time looking for them in my room and she can’t remember what she did with them. I yelled her, and hit the wall and made my hand bleed. I cried for the first time in a few months, and sometimes I think that killing myself would be better off for everyone around me, including myself. I don’t think I will ever do it though. I do enjoy life, but I am antisocial, have only a few close friends, and I shut out my own family lots of the time. I do really love them and care about them, but it’s hard for me to show it.

A few days ago in an argument with my mom I acted incredibly stupid by pushing her lightly back, and I have never regretting doing something more in my life than that. She started crying, and I did too once I went to my room and closed my door. She told me tonight that that broke her heart, and asked if i was ashamed of doing it, and because i was frustrated with arguing with her tonight, i said no. But I really *am* ashamed of doing it. It tears me apart inside. I love her with all my heart, I just wish I was able to show it. She has a good relationship with my sister, they are always talking about her (sister) boyfriend problems, friends, parties, everything. But I tend to keep things inside me and don’t let my parents in on anything that might be going on. I’m more private. I think that she probably likes my sister (who is 18) more than me, and I don’t blame her if she does. I love her very much either way. I wish I could show it somehow. This is why I believe I am a very bad son.