dreams

i constantly have dreams where my brother and i are in a sexual situation. it disgusts me but i dont know why i have them

Noises on the next room

My mother’s birthday was last month and that day all the family had a good time together.
When sleep time came, i wasn’t sleepy cuz i had drank lots of coffee, so i just lyed on my bed.
After more or less 1 hour i started hearing noises like sighs or moans, so i got afraid. Then i heard my father’s voice whispering something and my mother’s giggles. Right after that, their door was closed, but i could still hear everything that was going on there…
I know that they are married and they can do whatever they want to, but still i feel so unconfortable when i’m with them…
Now, I think they are noticing that i’m acting different toward them and I don’t want to tell them anything about what I heard…

scared of intimacy

The idea of having sex really scares me…my friends tell me how beautiful i am, but when i look in the mirror all i want is to look like someone else…

how could anyone love me or bear to look at me naked when i cant like my own face!

perhaps its because i was fostered and adopted lots of times that i cant learn to love myself….how can i when so many of my ‘parents’ couldnt bring themselves to love me?

Lost

So here I am 25 yrs old fresh out of college with “the world at my feet” so to speak. Yet as much as i realize that I am blessed to be where i am i feel like a failure and i feel more than anything alone. I feel completely overwhelmed at the thought of having to repay these student loans which i resent having because I blame my lack of a proper support system for having to take out the loans in the first place. I feel frustrated because I worry that I will never marry or have a child or buy a home. I worry that I will spend the rest of my life living paycheck to paycheck. Worst of all though is the alone feeling the feeling that if i disappeared no one would realize it. Family that is to screwed up to care, friends who are to absorbed in their own lives to call. And a boyfriend who suffers from his own traumas, I dont want to be a burden but I am tired of feeling alone and I am at a breaking point. I would never hurt myself because I realize the senselesness in that, but I just need to somehow get myself back on track before i lose it.

I Blame Myself

You don’t know this but the day you called from abroad to say you had met someone else and couldn’t talk to me anymore was the day I was going to tell you I had lost our baby a few weeks earlier. That last night we spent together when you made me feel like a hooker cos I had walk out of the hotel alone, was the night our child was conceived. I lost our baby and even though you didn’t know, I hate you for the conversation you didn’t give me a chance to have with you. I hate the fact that I blamed myself – that maybe I had done something wrong. I’m over you but I will never get over the big empty space inside me. You’ll never know how close you came to being a father and I can never tell you. I do wish you happiness and I hope no one ever hurts you as much as you hurt me that day…..

life

I feel so lonely sometimes, I try to think back to past times, when things were simple. I wish I didn’t drink, yet its what keeps me going, so to speak…

I Think I Might Be Pregnant

i think i might be pregnant.
I’m a 17 year old roman catholic.
My gran would disown me. So would my dad.
I don’t know who i have to hold my hand while i make the decisions to get myself through this.
The condom broke; a mistake, an accident that couldn’t have been averted. But i still feel dirty. And I still feel like it’s my fault.
I live in Dubai, where there are no abortion clinics or contraceptives due to them both being against Islam. Nobody knows. I feel like the only person in the world.

I should have gotten the job!

I’m trying to deal with my feelings of disappointment, anger, frustration, and hurt. I just found out my co-worker got a senior position I also applied for. I really do like my co-worker and I am happy for her, but I am much more qualified and experienced than she is, so don’t understand why she got the job over me. It’s going to be very difficult to go into work next week.

I should have married him

My HS boyfriend. We were almost married, I was so stupid to break up with him. I still love him, even to this day. Now I am stuck. Married to someone I don’t love, with 2 kids I don’t want, living somewhere I can’t stand. My ex-BF is no longer living, so I will never get the chance to have the life I always wanted. I would give anything. Everything & anything to go back in time & change it back to the way it’s SUPPOSED to be. Sometimes, I look around & I say to myself ‘How the hell did I grow up to be ME? How is this MY LIFE?’ How could I have screwed up so badly? I am MISERABLE and it’s all my fault.

I have been sleeping with your boyfriend

Lyndsie, i have known your for years and you are one of my best friends. I have known your boyfriend even longer. Before you and he got together, He and i were having sex. I was cheating on my boyfriend with him. Then he and my bf and i moved in together and were roommates. Once you and he got together we didnt stop. I tried to but he would seduce me and i would give in. On tuesday nights when you were at school and my bf was gone i would go down stairs and we would have sex. It was hot and dirty. I would even go meet him at his shop where he worked and we would do it. I have never told you cause I love your friendship and i don’t want to lose you as a friend. I just cant help it. He and i were together long before he got with you and it’s hard for us to stop.

“Rape”

about a few years back i lied to my bfnd…i lied about me gettin raped..getting gang raped by some men whom i didnt knw..den i claimed that they were mentally harassing me..god knws what had gotten into my head but i did all this to get that attention from him which i always craved for..i did the biggest mistake of my life my doin this..so i thot of confession here as im afraid he might leave me if i tell him the truth..

Sex in the Server Room

While mostly everyone in our downtown office was away on a business trip, I screwed my coworker in the server room. We have been screwing for a while but that day i got a text from him to meet him in the server room for a tryst. It was incredible and unforgetable!!!!