Secret Confessions

Today a co-worker said “If you are so depressed and miserable about your life, then go kill yourself already”. How could she say something like that. How does she know that there isnt someone around her wishing they were dead. If she only knew.
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Kay!!

I hate to say it, but I hate my best friend’s boyfriend. I want her to be happy, but not with him. Not when he sees me as a constant threat, not when he tells her not to be friends with me just because I make her happy too.

He wants to be the only thing in her life, and I want him to be gone.

Anytime I try to tell her that it doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship, she tells me that I don’t see them together - of course I don’t! He doesn’t allow her near me when they’re together! He literally drags her away and brushes me off.

She’s not going to college so she can wait for him when he goes into the armed forces.

I can’t even tell her what a mistake that is without “trying to ruin they’re relationship.” I’m not a threat, I’m a friend.

I know you love me or so you say. You are here with me always having sex but yet you never proposed and make excuses not to get married. Why are you always putting me off and why can you tell me the truth. If you don’t want to commit to me and get married then just say so and I can deal with that. But you saying yes we will get married and never doing it is killing me.
I don’t believe you anymore. Can’t you see how much you are hurting me? You always get what you want and make ‘us’ decisions on your own so why can’t I get what I want. I am tired of your excuses and you pushing plans to get married further and further away. It’s killing me and pushing me away from you.
If 5 years isn’t enough to make up your mind then leave me alone. I don’t even tell you about my feelings, problems and everything else that’s happening in my life. I can’t even talk to you about us anymore because you get quite and vex. Why? Shouldn’t we be able to talk about everything? If you really love me as you say you do then why can’t you give me the peace of mind and commit to me or be honest to me. Why don’t you want me like that? Am I not good enough for you and your high and mighty family?
I feel like going out and doing stuff with other men just to make me feel better that you can’t commit to me and love me as I need you to. If I do it I hope you can take it and feel good to know what you have pushed me to do. I love you so much and you hurt me so badly every day I cry about it and I can’t even talk about it with you.

I live near a large metropolitan hospital, and as I was striding past yesterday, I noticed a very frail old man in a wheel chair. He was poised to try to cross the road, but I could see that it would take him hours. I stopped, turned back and asked him if he would like help. I slowly wheeled him in front of the traffic, but as we neared the other side, he started yelling at me. It was at that point I wish I had left him to try on his own. Altruism retracted.

Though I can’t let it be known, I watch the human race, I watch the world, I can’t stop analyzing everything. I’m a good person, though saying that makes you sound awful.

I always want to help, but day in day out life knocks me down and I lose faith in the human race, I’ve helped all who’ll let me, and at times I can’t get up in the morning and face it all over again, the aloneness, the disgusting intentions of people, I have a purpose and it’s to uplift the down, but how can I do that when I’m the one who can’t do it anymore.

You all confess about deep things, but mine is a matter soo deep it goes beyond what you can imagine.

It’s every emotion in one, it’s almost unbelievable.

But I’ll keep giving, no matter how many shadows, I’ll keep lifting.

I thought I had overcome my anger toward you and toward myself for how I have reacted to your instability, but evidently I haven’t. I got some mail for you today and opened it and threw it away. I wonder why you choose to get your mail here instead of at your house? To show off! See, I’m still resentful toward you.

I’d never tell myself I’d rant off some random site I felt off Google, but I need this off my chest. I’m extremely alone and I want to die sometimes. The only thing that holds me back is I’m afraid of it hurting my family. I don’t know why they would want someone as worthless and bitter as myself, but they do care about me a lot.

I grow attached to people extremely easy, especially females. Only problem is is that they are a) Not Single b) Find me to be Awkard and Dumb or both. I find myself to be going in this endless cycle of constantly thinking about someone then wanting to kill myself because of how lonely and depressed I am. Sometimes I think medication would help, but I don’t want a drug messing up my mind, making it the reason I’m happy. I don’t want that medicated numbness.

I want to be different, I hate the way I am, the way I think. Maybe I’ll be useful one day, but for now, I’m utterly useless.

I can’t stand seeing her date anyone that actually lives here because I am jealous.
I feel so alone the majority of the time.
I want to be more like her.
I wish she didn’t see our friendship as an obligation.
I don’t like seeing her happier than I am.

I take things to heart far too much.
When people try to give me advice on anything I post on the internet, I feel like they’re patronising me, that they think I’m an idiot, and when I reply to them I always think that I’m coming across as rude and only making enemies. I never like asking anyone to suggest improvements on anything because it feels like I’m compromising my own artistic integrity, and I feel guilty for doing it because I know they’re only trying to help.
I know that this shouldn’t bother me like this, but it does, and even the slightest hint that someone might not like me sends me into a slight depression. It isn’t healthy, and it can’t be good for my relationships with people. I’m terrified of offending people, but I fear that I can’t help doing it. I know people’s emotions are not made of china and won’t shatter at the slightest thing, but I still fear that someone will take something I say the wrong way, and if they do, I fear that I will come across as a bitch.
It’s bothering me a lot more than it should.

I am in love with my girlfriend, been together for almost 2 yrs. but i just cant stop myself from cheating on her after she broke my trust and disappointing me hard. I cheated on her with 7 different women, but yet i find no comfort in them because she’s the one for me no matter what. she is driving me crazy because i get so paranoid when she goes to work, thinking that she is lying again :(

help!

i love my boyfriend.
bu my ex, i still think about him.
ALL the time.

I am completely without a doubt in love with a young man 16 years younger than me. He is 18, i am 34. Sigh. He has no issues with our relationship and i have..mostly because i feel as if i am doing something “wrong”, but, my heart says otherwise. There is no sex involved…for the most part, it is all communications, interests that is keeping us attached to eachother. I love him so much, that my heart cannot take being away from him much longer..

Yes, I did leave my husband for him! I felt an incredible connection with him that I have not felt in a very long time.
Now here I sit by myself….lonely and wondering what the hell I did!!!!
But I will not go backwards….I can only mov forward and hope that someday I will find the person who loves me as much as I love them.
But still here I sit lonely and wondering.

I think I’m bi.

At least, I really want to kiss my best female friend.

Oh, and my mom’s a flaming homophobe.
And my friend.. I don’t know what she thinks.

For the way everything turned out. I think of you often and look at your site just to see your face. I wonder if you even give me a second thought. I still create things inspired by you. I hope one day you take a look and realize what you have inspired within me. You were always such a wonderful friend, I hate the way life got in the way. I just wanted to tell you that I hope you are and remain healthy, happy and terrific, but am too much of a coward to ever do so directly. I still carry my bit of luck and faith with me, I hope those bits shine upon this message to you, and you accept my thanks for being in my world when you were, and my apologies for what has happened to drive you away. Be well my friend, I will always hold you in the highest regard, you are a wonderful human.