I sleep with anybody!

I don’t even know when it started. I am sixteen now and I sleep with random guys. Once I had two in just one night!I reall deeply love one guy, but he lives far away and does’t want distant relationship. When it first happened to me I felt like a slut. But now I don’t even feel sorry. I don’t feel anything to the guys, I don’t want to talk to them, I don’t even meet them after I sleep with them. I don’t know how to change myself because I cannot say no to something that makes me feel so great

Fat

Unlike most, I like my Fat. Actually I love it…I wish I could be fatter, and want to date a fat girl or even guy. But i am too much of a coward to admit i might be gay. And too much of a coward to date a fat girl, which is taboo in modern day culture.

I wish i could just be normal, and find the thin/fit girls attractive.

I wish my friends would hate me.

I wish my friends would hate me. I wish they’d stop inviting me to hang out. I wish they’d stop answering the phone when I call. I wish that they’d pretend that I don’t even exist. Maybe then I could, too.

Alone… is it my fault?

My boyfriend and I were together for 9 months… I started growing away from him and he tried so hard to keep things working. But then he started pulling away. I tried to stop what was happening but it was too late and we broke up. Then I found out I was pregnant. So we got back together. He says he can’t believe he’s back with me because of the way I treated him at the end of out relationship. He refuses to sign the birth certificate because if his school finds out he would be kicked out and lose all chance of becoming an officer in the Army. He says he’ll sign after school, but it hurts. He’s 1500 miles away and I would give anything to have him at the birth, to have him sign. He feels lost and confused, unhappy. But I don’t know what to do. No matter how much I love him, I can’t make him feel the same as he did before… I love him so much and would do anything to have him be a part of our lives. But I don’t know what to do.

I cant believe you.

I hate you. I cant believe what you did. You promised me. You swore on your life. But you broke that promise. Now people dont see me the same. They all think I have a problem. And its all your fault. I thought you were my best friend. Thanks alot.

Empty

I’ve never been one for the epic sadness… But I guess that’s a lie.

I climb into bed only to stare down at it and realize it’s empty. And I feel empty. I always have to put on a face for someone, sometimes I have to be someone worse than I actually am to please people. And I love to please them.

My boyfriend, for one… I’m only seventeen but he means everything to me.

Sleep means nothing without him.

I just wish he wouldn’t ignore me, I wish he would scream at me and hit me and call me names. I wish he would acknowledge that I am here, and that he is safe and that I won’t use him like the others did. I could never use him, I could never hurt him.

And yet whatever he asks of me, even if it kills me, even when he shows me a picture that some girl sent him of her breast on his phone, even when he tells me I should get bigger breasts… Even when he ignores me, I still love him because he is the best I’ve ever had. I love him, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

I need help

I’ve been told that so many times, and I never listen.
I probably should… heck, I know I should.
I’m a fifteen year old bisexual female, and I got dumped by my girlfriend two months ago.
And I guess that’s where it all started really.
She broke up with me because she said I needed to get help, I wasn’t self-harming at the time, but ever since she broke up with me I’ve tried to kill myself twice and even at school I sometimes just go to the bathroom and cut myself.
I know I’m being stupid and I’ve been told so many times that I need help, but I feel like I don’t want to.
My writing has always been where I turn when I need help and I spill my thoughts onto paper instead of to other people.
But recently it seems like I need to be bleeding in order for me to write. Otherwise the words just get choked up and I can never get them down.
I know I need help, I just don’t know what to do with my life any more.
Please help me.

I Finally Told Him

I know everyone would judge me but I’ve been in love with this guy for about 3 years now. I only think about him and do anything I can to be around him. I finally told him I loved him a few moniths ago and we ended up getting very intimate. I believe I’ll marry him and even though I’m a christian, I have slept with him. The problem is that he is my youth director and 10 years older than me.

Now I can’t be with him cause I do want him to get into to trouble and can’t tell anyone what is wrong. I wish it could all be ok again. I wish I had never messed up his life.

Homless

So I work at a homeless shelter. The burnout rate for social workers is extremely high, and I now understand why.

I genuinely care about a lot of the people I work with. Many of them are good people who have fallen on hard times. Some of them work a hell of alot harder than I do, but things just cant seem to go right.

Others are system abusers, con men and women, and generally nasty people.

Some have some interesting mental disorders that make them the most annoying people in the world (through no fault of their own, of course).

I feel myself getting jaded. My smile is now fake when I tell the forgetful woman what time curfew is..every single night. I am having trouble listening to that guy who just wont stop talking in circles, and going off on tangents, you know, the crazy one who talks for thirty minutes to an hour, but never finishes a thought.

Worst of all, I feel myself not caring as much as I used to. I feel resentment. I catch myself blaming people for the crappy hand they have been dealt, which is something, as a sociologist, I promised I would never do.

My job can be very rewarding, the feeling of helping someone get back on their feet and independent again is wonderful. I see people on the street who came to me without hope, and leave with confidence and stability.

I just dont know how long I can keep going before that doesnt affect me either.

Cali

After you decided I didn’t mean enough to you for us to carry a meaningful relationship, I drove all the way to California and slept for six whole nights in his arms…
We are getting married in a few months.

Cuzins In Love

Ok where to start im a girl im 19 and my lover happens to be my cousin. i first fell inlove with her 2 years ago when we spent all our christmas holidays together. it was so obvious that we were both into each other but none of us was willing to make the first move until about 5 months ago when she came to stay at my flat whilst she was looking for a flat to rent she seems so natural around the house she would often walk around naked and culdnt help but stare about 1 week after she moved in we were having a few drinks by ourselfs and she then confessed her love to me i replyed sayin i loved her to we then spent our first of many nights together as a couple we have decided not to tell family about this as it would break there hearts as we are a close knit family we planb to mave interstate so we can live our life as a couple.

My Parents Were Missionaries

My parents were missionaries. My dad is a pastor. They’re supposed to be good people. I wonder what my church would say if I let them know that my dad has broken three of my ribs, two of my teeth, and given me a concussion. I hate smiling during his sermons like a hypocrite. I hate him. I hate that I hate him. I wish I had the strength to forgive but I can’t. I hate who he’s made me.