I do dumb things and don’t know why

I’m writing this under “weird” maybe because that’s how I feel? But I also wonder, are the things I do and think, really weird in the end? Or do other people just lie about not having the same thoughts.

I spend lots of time alone, because of where I live mostly and with the cost of gas, I don’t drive into town unless it’s to work or something I have to do.

When I’m alone, my thoughts wander. I’m between boyfriends, had nothing but bad relationships in the past, jerks that want to own my every move. That’s not what I’m here to write about though. I want some feedback on normalcy…?

(more…)

Best Friends

I told my best friend I had feelings for him. I know he used to like me but he was so young at the time and it took a while for me to realise how deep my feelings were for him. He said he didn’t want to lose me as a friend, wasn’t sure of how he felt. He confessed he might have feelings for a girl we work with, a 15yo girl…5 years younger than him. He said she made him happy. I tried to pretend I wasn’t hurting but now he can’t even look at me. Everything is falling apart around me and now I dont have anyone to turn to. I miss him..every day I miss him and I wish I had never said anything.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

I HAVE THIS FRIEND WHOM IS GAY
ALL SHE DOES IS TALK ABOUT WHAT HER & HER
GIRLFRIEND DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS NO ONE ELSE AT WORK WANTS TO HEAR THAT AND THEY OFTEN COMPLIAN BUT SHE THINKS IT’S FUNNY I HATE IT & I’M THE ONE IN CHARGE THEY ALSO IGNORE ME WHEN I SAY TONE IT DOWN WITH THE PROFANITY NEXT STEP IS TO TAKE IT TO MY BOSS SORRY BUT I HAVE TO

impossible love

I am in love with my Mum’s friend who she has feelings for. I am 21, he is 45. I met him a year ago and we became friends but I knew instantly that I felt something strong and so did he. We have been together a few times and we recently admitted our love to eachother. My Mum doesn’t know.

I can’t take the guilt. I can never be with him properly because I can’t hurt her. She is such a brilliant Mum. It would destroy her friendship with him and she would be so dissappointed in me.

I have decided to be friends with him. But it is so hard. I am trying and am succeeding though. I am just scared that somehow one day she may find out and I will break her heart

Extremely Hurt

I have been in and out of a relationship with this guy for 9 years. We started going out when I was 14 he was 16. we were madly in love. We started growing up and growing apart. We moved in together and he wouldn’t come home until the wee hours of the morning and I was always home waiting for him. I moved out 6 months later. We were still together. Since then we have been on and off, but never spent a full week without talking to each other or seeing each other. We still loved one another and cried at the thought of not being together. I finally started to see other people because he wouldn’t make a commitment and started drinking all the time. He would come to me and say everything I wanted to hear and I would break it off with other boy and after that he would not live up to his promises. We still always talked and spent time together but no commitment. That happened three times with casual relationships. I finally met someone who I fell for in a short time span. I was going to move with him. My ex of 7 years (at the time) completely ruined the relationship between the guy and I. He made his promises and I of course, fell for it and left the guy I was with. He did the same thing again and didn’t fulfill his promises. So, I decided that I would not go out with anyone else b/c I didn’t think it was right to put someone else through all that b/c I wasn’t over my ex. My ex and I did what we usually did and I would do everything for him, love him and treat him like a king. Then, I got pregnant. He yelled at me and treated me terrible. He even said that if I had it I would ruin his life. I couldn’t believe that the guy I have loved for 9 years would do this to me. During “complications” (abortion) he stopped talking to me so much and showed no affection. I went to appointments all by myself and got really depressed. After some time we mended our relationship and were together. But still no Solid commitment. He told me he loved me. Just a couple of days ago he said that he had met someone else. Nothing too serious just hung out a couple of times. He still wants to talk to me and see me though. I’m truly tired but I don’t know how to get away from him. It’s like my heart is glued to him. Need some words of wisdom. I can’t talk to anyone else. Thanks.

I’m a liar

I wish I knew who I was deep down. In reality, I’m only a guy who trys to please others…

When my friends are down, I’m always the one who they come to if they want to vent, or need advice. So when they come talk to me, I always need to be happy, and secure of myself, so the negative feelings don’t rub off on them. Half of the time, I feel like total shit, and can’t even put up with their crap. I have no idea how I do it. I just wanna die, I’m so bogged down with their stuff.

But then, when my friends are OK, and they ask how I am, I can never tell them that I’m not doing well. I don’t want to bog them down with my emotions…they have too much going on. So yea…I take everything in, but don’t have anyone to talk to.

Sure, I’ll tell people that I know I can come to them if I ever need help or advice or just want to vent, but I can never bring myself to do it when the time comes down to it.

It’s all been going downhill recently. Worse and worse. I’m more depressed, more emotional, more suicidal. I want to show this post to my friends, so I can get help…but then I’ll just scare them away from me. They’ll be afraid of my past, that it’s coming back.

But this isn’t what I went through when I was younger…and that kind of scares me. Because I (now) know how to deal with what I was dealing with then. But this is new. Different. Unique.

And I can’t take it anymore. So if any of my friends see this…please…help me.

BI SEXUAL

im 17 an bi sexual. some people accept me for me, but there is one person who hates me for telling him i am bi. that is my father he is not into god either he just hates me. my 18 year old sister can be bi but i can’t. what is he gonna do if my baby sister is bi. hate her to. why can’t he love me for me. instead i ruined his life when i found out i was prego at age 15.(the first and last time i had sex.) all i know is that he hates me and wants absplutly nothing to do with me and i think it is bull shit. some one tell me what to do please.:( :(

Missing you always

E,

You were my first true love. I still love you even today. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.

There are days that I wonder why it wasn’t me that married you and had your baby. I still want that so badly but I am not willing to destroy your marriage.

Just know that I will always love you and miss you terribly.

K.

loveFOOL

I AM AN 29 YEAR OLD WOMAN AND I’M IN LOVE WITH MY CO-WORKER AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY. I SEE HIM ALL THE TIME, BUT HAVE ONLY SPOKEN TO HIM ONCE, I GET SO NERVOUS AND FLUSTERED WHEN HE COMES AROUND THAT I CAN’T CONCENTRATE ON MY WORK UNTIL HE LEAVES. I DON’T THINK HE LIKES ME AND I AM TO SCARED TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT ANYTHING.I HAVE TRIED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT
HIM BUT ITS HARD WHEN I SEE HIM EVERYDAY.IT MAKES ME FEEL DESPERATE AND FOOLISH ESPECIALLY WHEN I SEE HIM FLIRT WITH OTHER WOMEN.

WHY CAN’T I STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU!!!!

Why don’t your love me?

I spend so much time with you, No matter what happens, im always there, by your side. And yet, you continue to tell me how much you love others.
I sit here, wondering, you trust me more than them, but, you still love them more than you do me..
When I do see you around, you tend to have more fun with others than you do being around me.
But yet, when theres a problem, you come talk to me, and I do help you, but, only because I love you.

Some days, you make me feel unlike anything else I had ever felt before.
But others, I wish I could let you know how I really feel.

And at this point, I don’t know if I can keep on with this, I cant see you with another person that may hurt you again, I want to be the one there,

With you.

I want my own

I have a lot of friends. I love them all, really. They’re great.
I love how we’re all so different, but still have so many things in common.
Selfharm and depression is something we’ve all been through, and talked about,
but the problem is that I still get depressed sometimes. I think they do too, but they don’t admit it all that much.
I have this one friend that told me to call her if things get real bad,
but I can never trust her to be there or get the small hints I drop,
because I could never just say that I feel bad.

The problem with my friends is that they are too distant. They have other friends that I feel they trust more than me, and you might say I’m jealous, but it bothers me a lot. I want someone for my own, my friend. The kind I can call or visit any time and know that they won’t mind. Truth is I had a friend like that once, but life split us up.

I just want one friend that I don’t have to share.

Im Desperate for help

I’m 17 yrs old and in Grade 12 my mum has Bipolar and I have just been diagnosed with it to its hard because I’m mums carer and have to look after 4 other brothers and sisters my dad walked out on us 5yrs ago and has never come to see us in those 5yrs since he left we have never heard from him and life at home has been hell mum doesn’t want to do any activities with the kids so I have to take them out on weekends so I have no time to study or go out with friends its driving me insane is it to much to ask just for a bit of me time don’t get me wrong I love my brothers and sisters but sometimes its to much to handle and the only way out is suicide I just cant handle it I’m playing mum at 17 for gods sake I hate it I don’t know who to turn to cause we have no relatives in the area or outside friends I drink to escape reality and soon hope to escape it forever by ending my life I just need advice as I don’t want to end my life its just the only option at the moment there is no other way out