I love her..

I just love my girlfriend, but everyday i’m afraid that she cheats on me.. I feel obsessed with such negative thoughts.. Sometimes i feel that the fact that i’m not a man will make her feel some thing missing.. But now its been like more than a year we’ve together, and i say that she could have had ample time to realise it..
I just love her… she makes me feel so good..

Sick Hearts.

I fell in love with my best friend and she fell for me, too.
We were together for a month and then we broke up.
The months spent apart were the worst of my life.
We’d get into bitter fights, I’d contemplate suicide, I’d slice my wrists, I’d dream about her.
Just recently, we got back together.
That’s all I’ve wanted.
I don’t think she really knows how much she means.
She is the core of my life.
Without her, all is lost.
I would do anything, anything for her.
My love is forever and unconditional.

There’s so much I want to say to her.
I can listen to The Used again…

Rape fantasy

I sometimes fantasize about being raped so that someone will save me and fall in love with me.

i love this man

im 29 single, i have no boyfriend but i fall in love with a married guy now. he’s in Saudi Arabia now and im here in Phil.we talk everyday online, and i spend almost 5hours to have chat with him. I told him not to fall in love with me, but he always exist that his heart belongs to me. he has 3 kids and also living here in Philippines,based on him his wife living with his kids. i dont know what could i do, i want to get marry but how? he doensnt mention anything about annualment. but i feel to myself that i loved this guy…i really misses him a lot. im thinking of him almost every seconds in my life..i feel guilt coz i know i did a mortal sin. (to love to a married man is not good)

Im I going to do the biggest mistake?

I am very conservative person. I fall in love at the age of 22. Now I am 24+ doing MBA. Out relationship is about for 2 years. She is the one and only love in my life. I love her more than anything and I also love my family very much. But I cannot choose one. My family is not accepting me to marry her for many reasons which and I cannot blame them for that as they are doing what they should do-I know! I have protested them for more than a years but I failed to make them accept her. Now why I am confused to decide whether to keep relation with her or not are: She is very dominative, less carrying and does anything she wish when she is angry. She has little respect to my family which I cannot stand. She is extrovert in nature. And many more of her nature I do not like. Knowing these things she insists of doing all the things. If I try to control her, she goes more out of control. I am still love her but I am now confused “Can I be happy with her? Should I take the risk of loosing my family for her? If I break up with her now, will I regreat at future for loosing my love? What would happen to me if I make a choice?”
I am confused! I am too young about life. Please people who knows life better, advise me!!!!!!!!!!

Suicide

Yesterday, I overdosed on vitamins and almost killed myself.
and the scariest thing: I’m not glad to be alive.

I used to say that ‘suicide is not the answer’ but after every thing that’s happened over the past year… I’m not so sure anymore. Yeah, I’m terrified of dying but it just seems like the only opition left.

No one knows about this except for my best friend and she lives in a different country.

LIFE SUCKS!!!

I HATE MY LIFE LAST YEAR I HAD A PROBLEM AT SCHOOL AND NOW ALL MY FRIEND BELIEVE THAT I WAS THE GUILTY OF ALL AND THEY DISCLAIM THEY DON’T CARE IF I AM A HUMAN WITH FEELINGS I WANT TO BE PART OG MY PROM AND TO TAKE PART OF IT!! I JAHETE MY FRIENDS AND HATE MY LIFE!!

Cheating

I love a married guy and he loves me back and at the same time i’m engaged to a guy i really like but he doesnt get me and understand me like the other one…

I hate my father

He’s a seaman. And everytime he’s about to go, he’s mean-tempered and always angry. What’s worst is, he’s always angry with me. He always tells that I’m a liar, that I’m a spoiled brat, etc. Also, I’m jealous of my brother. I look like a damn frog because my eyes are still swollen because of crying. Why? Because my father shouted at me even though I didn’t do anything. And you know what? My whole family blamed me. I fckin’ hate them! I fckin’ hate them!!!!

All An Act

I puked on a ride at the carnival in front of a bunch of people from my school. I was so embarrassed by it, that I pretended to pass out. I didn’t “wake up” until I was in the car with my mom when she came to bring me to the hospital, which wasn’t until about 15-20 minutes later.

I was fine. Nothing was medically wrong with me, I just had motion-sickness, but I ended up scaring all my friends and my mom. One of my friends told me she thought I was dead.

People talked about it for weeks after and treated me like I had some terminal illness. People who never talked to me before were acting like they were my friends and that they cared about me, and I hated it. My friends still bring it up every now and then and talk about how scared they were for me. I just pretend I don’t remember any of it.

Next time I throw up in front of people, I’d rather laugh about it than make everyone think I passed out.

Chaos n Turmoil

I have nothing valid to confess actually…..im just pouring out all the chaos n turmoil im my mind….life’s going fine but the scars that my previous relationship has left have become sour … i think of myself as a person bereft of human feelings … im not cribbing over past happenings but im laughing at myself for doing all those things.The last thing i wanna sound like is EMO… no depression bullshit ….no cuttin hand …..’
Only thing is that i feel im inadequate in the sense that if i ask out another girl ill be turned down….and there are other issues like lust …. you know the feeling when you look at a girl ..you hate her at the same time youre sexually attracted towards her….well a girl in my class sits right in front of me and i get so turned on by her ….**** shes so hot ….
So these are the things i go thru ,thanks for listening
p.s hope it gets published cuz it would really help.

My Poor Sweet Cats

I can’t stop being abusive to my cats. I love them so very very much and when they ignore me I snap. I torment them and beat the shit out of them. I dangle them by their tails, their legs, their scruffs. I throw them up in the air. I flick their heads. I soak them. What I do is disgusting. And then I cry. I think that’s why I do it. I don’t know what to do. I love them so much and they don’t deserve any of this.