Secret Confessions

I don’t know where to begin. I am having all these angry thoughts of guilt for being borne into such a privileged society. I sit in my house comfortably reading a book on world hunger and feel glutenous. I feel so disconnected from what life really should be about. I am fed up with the system that has been in place and have no one to talk to about it. My boyfriend thinks I’m crazy and won’t hold a deep philosophical conversation with me. I am too afraid to talk to people who are convicted humanitarians because I fear I will sound stupid and no amount of knowledge I gain makes me feel like I am worthy of a deep, substantial relationship.

I want to join the peace corps but I know I never will. I want someone else to do it with me because being alone is lonely and I want someone to share life with. I cannot seem to find that person though. I am afraid I will die alone with the knowledge that this is a horrible world and no matter what I do I cannot fix everything.

I am confused as to what to do with my existence and sometimes wonder if it is worth living at all.

I was sexually abused by several family members over a period of ten years. No one knew. It damaged me as a child.

One summer I prank called the home of a classmate whose life seemed perfect. I called a few hundred times that summer. I guess I was jealous and did not know what the H*LL I was doing. I really caused them a problem.

It’s been 40 years ago and I am still very sorry that I did that.

I recently ran into an old friend. We never dated because the timing was never right — I was in a relationship when he was single, he was married when I was single. Now he’s single again, and I am happily married with three kids. The problem? I can’t stop thinking about him.

I know I should put my energy into my marriage instead (My husband is wonderful, handsome, successful and famous), yet all I can think about is my old friend…both sexual and just plain romantic fantasies. I wish I were single so we could just go to the movies, or on a drive together. I keep thinking of ways to run into him again.

I know I need to stop this foolishness. I feel guilty, but I can seem to stop the daydreaming…

I find my best friends dad attractive im 17 his 42 but cant help feeling this way everytime we see each other we always flirt and muck around luckyly my bestfriend thinks we just get along like old mates but little does he no i have strong feelings for his dad and would one day like to be with him forever i always fantasise about having sex in my bestfriends bed with his dad i know this sound wierd but i cant help it

I never feel satified with my life. I feel like thats a main goal in life is to be completely satsfied, but i can never reach the level of satisfaction i desire. I try in school to do the best i can, but i still end up getting adverage grades. I try to be the best at somthing but theres always someone that is better then me. I cant stay in relationships when im in them and think that i would be happier single. But when im single i feel the need for a guy to be with. I act so strong and like i love my life, but i really dont love it. Why cant i ever satisfy myself??

I saw my bra in my sister’s closet.It was hidden. I don’t speak with her since then. What kinds of a person wears people’s underwear?

I’ve been in a job since last May. At first I liked it very much and was very enthused as it was my first job. But after they fired the operations manager everything took a turn for the worst. People often talked about resigning and I immediately started seeking another job. I did a couple of interviews and after about three months one called yesterday saying I got the job. I am so happy. But I feel a bit heavy inside because a lot of ppl have been resigning. I feel bad for leaving. The worst thing is I go on vacation as of tomorrow. I havent handed in my resignation letter as yet. I dont know what to do.

I am involved with a seemingly wonderful man. But I am interested in this other guy. We go on dates sometimes and he visits me too. We have not been intimate but have come close to it sometimes. The worst thing is he also has a girlfriend. I care about him and its like sometimes days will go by and he doesnt call and sometimes weeks and we dont see each other. That drives me crazy sometimes. I’ve told myself on countless occassions that I’ll stop seeing him and then he just does something to make me feel otherwise.

After six years he has not proposed. All I get is words and no action. He about us getting married years now but never proposes. Every night I lie in my bed and cry myself to sleep because this man that I love unconditionally and want to spend the rest of my life with, he just cannot seem to make a commitment and get engaged to me. It’s on my mind all day everyday. I feel like inside my heart is empty. I can’t put it out of my mind that he will leave me and go for someone else eventually that’s why he wouldn’t commit. And that is a definite possibility because his mother hates me even though I have been the best girlfriend for the past 6 years. I can’t even talk to him about us and a future because he knows, my friends and family knows, everybody knows I want to be engaged and I will feel like I am pressuring him if I tell him how I feel. But after 6 wonderful, dedicated years, I feel to leave him since he cannot commit further to me. He is my world and my world is causing me so much hurt and pain inside and I can’t even tell him.

I am now middle aged but every day for the last few years I have thought about killing myself. Just about the only thing that is stopping me is remembering how devastating my father’s suicide was for my mother and brother. But I don’t know how long that is going to be enough of a deterrent

i do not even know where to start i have spent the last 3 hours reading all the messages. so here is my own.

he broke my heart, i loved him, i gave him everything and i did make him a better person, our families loved each other, we were to move in with each other. he promised me the world.

though he never did treat me right. i am writing this because i stayed with him because i didnt want to be alone thats no reason to be with somebody. i did love him i still do. but i was with him for the wrong reasons. people reading this you its ok to be alone.

i miss him like hell, but my heart is now happy. and yes i am a fully grown woman but i still want to treated like a princess.

I am always feeling alone and I don’t know how to deal with it. It got so scary sometimes; I always imagine myself dying alone which is my biggest nightmare. I want to do something about it, I want to be normal, but I don’t know how to start. Truth be told, I’m too scared to begin living. What the hell is wrong with me?

i’ve seen
my parents have sex
when I was about 10-11
i hated it
i just wanted to tell them to just shut up
and close their door

Well, Im engaged. Its been about 1.5 year
I fell in love first. I wanted him so much. He’s so sexy, cute with a great sense of humor and knowledgeable about almost everything. He is independent as well.
I loved him throughout this time despite of the fact that he was so aggressive sometime and he made me feel stupid in public.. Also I hated his parents since very first moment I met them & they never seemed kind 2 me although they know Im really the best he can have..
We went to a trip to Cyprus for a week, his behavoir was beyond tolerable..
After that I thought about breaking up with him every now & then. I threatened him so he started to be more considerable and apologized so many times and admited his mistakes.
Now it’s time to marry. Although he’s 30 he hasnt saved so much. His parents aren’t eager to help.His sister is my boss, she teases me in her very own way at work. His mother doesnt invite me for events, she just call him and that’s it.
Everything related to marriage & his family just gets on my nerves. What should I do ?
Please help me. Should I postpone the wedding? or I should break up? What can I do with my in-lows?

So many people claim that they admire me because I’m “so smart”

because I’m “so independent”

because I’m “so strong”

I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of having to do everything for myself. I’ve just turned 22… and I’ve already been on my own for 5 years. I lost my mother about a year and a half ago and I still haven’t let myself grieve about it because I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll finally break and there will be no one around to pick up the pieces. I want someone to save me. Is that so bad?

If it’s not… then why is it so hard for me to admit it?
And why can’t I stop feeling so lacking inside?
Then I feel guilty for allowing myself to express how I feel. I know I have no right to complain when there are so many other people who have it worse.

And if one more person tells me that all I need to do is pray… I’ll ******* scream.