Secret Confessions

i have been crushing on a guy for like one year……..i like everything about him..even though some people always say that he’s cocky..but to me…he’s not cocky, he just fitting in with the situation. we laugh together, we have fun together…as i said juz now…i like everything about him, his humour, his style…everthing…i think about him every single day…but i never told him that i like him….because i dont want to lose him. i always ask God, why did i fell to him? or why do i have to love someone like him? it took me a very long time to get over my last relationship..

I know a lot of people, but I don’t really consider them my true friends. Around this time of year it gets depressing to hear all the fun places and activities these people do. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to fit in with anyone I know. Everyone always thinks of me as a funny and upbeat person, but I only use that as a mask to hide all the misery I’m in.

No one seems to really understand what I go through. The one person who could really help me wouldn’t talk to me anymore if they found out how I feel. My life is one big wound covered by a band aid. I’m hoping one day, someone will tear it off and help me heal. I have so many friends and i’ve never been so lonely in my life.

sorry DAd
you gave me so many chance to be something in life,u permitted me to do whatever i wished to do but i was not upto to ur mark,instead i always lied to u and still u trust me in me.. i”m worth of ur trust ?
i am sorry dad
sorry for every thing

I know exactly how I want my life to be- I work hard to get it there and some days it doesn’t seem to amount to shit.

I have fallen in love with my best friend but he has a girlfriend and he says im beautiful and treats me as though he likes me. I cant stand the way she treats him and i just wanna tell him im in love with him…but i care too much to do anything that would mean him becoming unhappy or causing an arguement between him and his girlfriend.

DD, i’m sorry.
all these time i’ve always wonder how it is like to have sex with other womens.

I have never touch any other girl besides you until today.

Today i decided to pay the barber shop a visit.
the place looks normal from the external, and however the real deal is a nest of prostitutes.

I got curious and my mind wasn’t telling me to stop.

I ended up ******* one of them.

now, I felt guilty.
not just that.

I am now afraid of AIDS and HIV.
this is just my 1st time and I don’t know will I be infected or not.

I did not use condom, because I wasn’t prepared at all.

Right now I only hope that I dont have AIDS and our marriage will be happy ever after.

I promise you, this is just a one time deal only.

I will never repeat and I always love you like I do.

omg, i’m scared…..
i’m really scared that i’ll have AIDS.

If you are not the women I love, I can still bare with this pressure, but NO!

Because i love you and I know that I’ve made a terrible mistake, thus I am now guilty and scared.

I’m probably the worst guy in the world and a chicken.

once again, DD, I’m very very very sorry….

I love you~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well to begin…. I found out that one of my “closest friends” has been doing everything she possible can to destroy my life! She has been hacking into my computer and sending emails, posting blogs and other things while posing as me! All of this started about a year ago when she married her new husband who just happens to be my ex fiancee!!!!!!!!! Now she thinks everything is going her way but what she doesn’t know is because she has started this war I am now sleeping with her husband!!!!! I was with him when he filed the divorce papers she should be getting in the mail this up coming week!!!!!!! Don’t play with fire if you don’t want to get burned!!!!!! Merry Christmas bitch!

I go to work everyday and wonder if he knows. I go to bed thinking about him. I am too afraid to say something or approach him. I need to touch him.If my girlfriend found out she would leave me.

Well, whenever somebody hears me say that I can’t wait to go to work, they automatically assume that I enjoy working retail. I haven’t quit it yet because it is the only place where I can be myself. I like girls and I work with a girl that finds me attractive and I feel the same towards her. We share the same personality and we have both realized that we do not have to pretend to be happy when we a are not. I LOVE MY JOB!!!

i m lovin girl who is love with someone but she accepts me as best friend but i dont like friendship coz i love her and i m getn jealous of that person tell me how to interact with her she calls me & i also call her but within 4 days i proposed her this is 1st time i m in love well i ll do anything for her but after doing this if she didnt get me i loose everything well i m particular about time & money so please suggest me what to do???????

I’m 17 yr old girl and I am attracted to girls. I don’t like to refer to myself as a lesbian or gay. I am a virgin but I just would prefer to be with the girl that I work with over a guy. I’m just not attracted to them. Everyone knows she likes me but I deny being a lesbian. But I never say that I do not like her. I actually think I love her. She is amazing. I mean we flirt around all of the time. There was even an instance where I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn’t find the courage. I believe that she knows that I like her, but I don’t think she will say anything until I admit it.
I also have this fear of my family. They are strictly against any form of homosexuality. My sister would literally try to kill me. She has said it jokingly, but I know that she means it. She thinks that it is disgusting. My mother and grandmother would probably try to pray the demons of homosexuality out of me! It kills me to know that I “will” be disowned if I ever pursue this relationship. I just want to be with her.

I don’t want you here.

You know that dog, the one that whenever you go over to your friend’s house for dinner, comes running up and humps your leg? That pushing, intruding cur that forces his attentions on you constantly, and because it’s your friend’s “sweet poochie-woochie” you have to grit your teeth and smile?

I don’t like that dog. I don’t like you for the same reasons.

You’ve managed to destroy and disintergrate everything I wanted or enjoyed about this existence. Anything I wanted or that made me happy, you pounced on, soiled and cheapened, and then held it up to show everyone “how good” you are to me. You’ve fucked up my life in ways too numerous to count. When you leave, that person that I used to be creeps back out and shines, and I love that feeling. I like her. Hell, everyone likes her.

I want to lie in the dark, staring up at the ceiling and having a conversation that actually has- get this- depth and debate, with someone who isn’t you. I want to be able to grab someone’s hand and drag them off into a dark corner. I want… things that are a insubstantial as soap bubbles and prayers, now. I suppose I should thank you for that.

I want to go through my daily routine without having you bitching and grating on about shit you know nothing about. Everytime you grope me, my skin crawls and my stomach turns. Contrary to the legend you are in your own mind- you are not Casanova. That would be why I shamelessly took a lover, why I am considering taking another, and why, if it weren’t for you, I would belong to someone else right now, body and soul.

I hate you, and if I could, I would leave you in a cloud of dust, and run as far and fast as four wheels and Detroit steel could take me. I would give up everything, disappear from sight, lose everyone I care about, if it would give me half a chance of getting the fuck out of this black hole you call “love.”

And if it was only me, I would.

You wanted to know how I feel about you being here every other day. You were so very excited and happy with yourself for this clever way of being “on the road” without actually going the fuck away. You wanted me to shower you with praise. Well, consider yourself showered. Now you know what I think.

When I was a 16 year old boy one of my 22 year old male cousins had sex with me and when he got done I was in love with him. For the next year I’d ask him for more and got it, but now that I’m older than he was then I regret those times.

I have an eating disorder, Ive managed to keep it from all my friends and family and I even have a secert myspace I use to recieve pro ana tips and talk to other ana’s it scares me though. And IM really afraid of someone finding out.

I hate buying Christmas gifts and cards for family and friends becasue I never feel like my gifts are good enough.