i feel like this everyday.

not a day goes by that i dont feel like drowning myself or harming myself in some fatal fashion.

neighborly love

I’m married… maybe not happily, but not really unhappily either. My problem is that I have thought for quite some time that my husband was just not a good match for me. Now it’s even worse because I’ve developed a crush on my neighbor. He has an amazing personality and good looks to match it. I know a relationship would never work, even if I wasn’t married… because my family would not approve. Anyways, long story short… I have the major hots for my neighbor. I actually had an excuse to touch him a week ago and it was awesome. I mean it was so awesome that I don’t even feel bad about it. I hope it happens again. I’m pretty sure I would cheat on my husband with him.

I know this makes me a bad person… my confession is that I don’t really care that much… and that makes me wonder what kind of person I have turned into..

Disease

I’m often proned to diseases. Viral, lysogenic, lytic and or otherwise. Right now I’m living with the idea that I have two that could be fatal. I’ve been waiting for the doctors to call, but they haven’t yet. I could be HIV positive, and I could also have Lyme disease. One from a tattoo, and one from a tick. The problem is, I have to put on a brave face, but I’m afraid. I’m not afraid of what could happen to me, not even after I die. I’m afraid of what will happen to my family.

Frustrated & Confused

I’m a married man of 15 years and I love my wife. But due to circumstances beyond her control the intimacy is dead. I have always loved women of all shapes and sizes and have been faithful to my wife. But in the last year or so I find myself getting infatuated with women I have no business being so with.

I generally like women my own age 38 but I recently met a woman (25) and I can’t stop thinking about her. She actually does some freelance work for me and that’s how I found myself in this position.

I’m around beautiful women on a regular basis so it’s not that this girl is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen but she is a total package. Good looking, sense of humor, same taste in music and beautiful on the inside. She’s also mature for her age group.

A couple of weeks ago we had to go out of town on some business. One night after work I asked her if she wanted to go hang out for a bit. We spent all night just talking until the early morning hours.

Now she already had an idea that I think she’s great but I made sure I told her so there was no confusion. At this point she tells me she is in love with her bf of 7yrs and I should have found her 3yrs earlier. I walked her back to her room and ended it with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

It was the best night I’ve had in a long time!

The next day after work I asked if we could do it again and we did. We just sat and talked until the sun came up. Another great night!

Problem is I can’t get her out of my head. I only see her once a month so this is killing me. Part of me wants to play the friend roll and see where this goes and hope I’m in the right place at the right time. Or I may discover she’s really not what I thought she was.

I understand she’s in love with her bf but if she didn’t have any interest would she have spent both nights with me? Or is it just my male DNA telling me there’s more there than there actually is?

I’m so confused! I want to see where this leads but maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

Anaphobia

I might be a bad person, but i have a complete phobia of people with eating disorders. I think that being so thin is the ugliest and most vulgar thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t look at them without being ill. I’m not fat or even chubby. In fact due to my metabolism I’m closer to being too thin than overweight, but the thought of being thin terrifies me. I get worried when people compliment me on how thin I am. I hate being told I shouldn’t have image issues because i’m under 115 lbs.

I got incredibly sick once for three months when i could barely eat and i dropped down to 85 pounds. After I got healthy I couldn’t shower for weeks because I couldn’t handle seeing myself naked.

I sound insensitive for saying this but I cannot fathom how anyone finds that level of thin attractive or empowering. Am I the only one that feels this way?

I’m a stoner

I’ve smoked pot everyday for 14 years and I’m a nurse.

Why don’t I do the things I need to do?

I have ****** up so many times at work. The issue is that no one knows the things that I have let slide. I have let certain licenses lapse…licenses where we are currently doing business. When this blows up…I will lose my job..and friends that I have had for 20 years. My problem is – I have had plenty of time to fix the issues…instead I let things keep going wrong…and now it’s too late. What is wrong with me?

i did something horrible to my cousin

In the hole world, just my step-brother knows about this, and he thoght i lied when i told him, apart from him, nobody knows about this.

When i was 15yo, i hade sex with my little cousin 10 years yonget than me. I have never forgive me about this. I cant look my selft in the mirror without thinking to get rip of me. I have done so many things, thinking that i’ll end up dead about it, but i always fail, eather for my cowardness or for pure coinsidense.

i know you people want me to tell in details how it happend, but i just cant, if i write it, ill remember it, and then the horrible felling will come again so i wont do that. The only think that i can tell its that it was not forceful (kind of concented) and that i dint penetrate her.

I tell this because its that i want to move on, be happy again . Since that happen, i havent felt that my laff was not actualy real, like i dint want other people to concerrn too much about me, because i dint want to be a load for my family and frinds.

thankyou

to the nurse who held my hand and told me eventualy it would be okay, as i lay there losing my baby,thankyou. today would have been my due date – and you were right, i am ok!

My life….Deserve to be hanged.

I hate myself I did horrible things when I was 13 to an older cousin sister when she was sleeping,I am older now 20 and Last few years I realized what I did,Oh my god some nights I think Il take a gun and shoot myself,I cant believe that I look back now,that I did it and I was actually attracted to her…****sake,it sucks,I guess she knows but cant really say like me,I didnt fully rape her just kissed her behind and rubbed my cock on her leg once(typing that made me sick)….I had been molested my self when I was young, a mental guy stuck his tounge down my throught and once he just hugged me rubbing his pelvis on to mine when I was 6/7 i guess….I dont blame him cause he was mental and his parents should have looked after him,it hasnt traumatized me,just really embarrasing and there was a best friend of mine who would try make me gay by playing games where Im the(or he is) the man and he(or sometmes im ) the wife and he would try to get me into bed but I would refuse sexual stuff but he got to feel me sometimes which was what he wanted this was around me being 9-11….I am not mad at any of them one was mental and one was just a kid my age who didnt know right from wrong,but what I did I guess has a connection but I still cant believe I did those things,I just cant…..looking back I just cant believe I did that. Im a sick ******* human being I mean how was I even attracted to her….I just wanted to get these things off my chest, I can never say these things in real life,I hope to be better the rest of my life and do the best I can but especially these past few days the action that I performed,how the ****….makes me sake and some nights the only way I get a sound sleep is that I might just pull a trigger on my head(Im not gonna do it just lie to myself so I can sleep,too scared to,cant let that hang on my family and dont posess a gun)

Oh can I delete this? I just dont want anyone ever I know…to ever read this….even if they dont know who this is.

selfish.

I weigh 96 pounds and still I think I need to lose more weight. I have an application on my computer that lets you figure out what you’ll weigh on a certain date depending on weight, height, how many calories you eat a day etc. According to this, I’ll be dead by January. Maybe sooner if I don’t get better. And still, all I’m planning to eat tomorrow is an apple. I’m a disgustingly selfish and vain person.

r.i.p chad

sometimes i pretend to limp in public, so that children will ask me what happened? and i tell them “motorcycle accident” i hope it will scare them enough so no one else has to lose their bestfriend