Ain’t broke? Don’t fix it

I’ve been sleeping with the same guy for 3 years now. I lost my virginity to him, but I’ve slept with other guys too. We are really close mates as well and I spend every weekend at his house with him and our other mates. I got really drunk and told him I loved him (I believed I did). He cut it off after that because he didn’t want to lead me on as this has always only been a simply physical relationship. He told me he wanted to see other people. I was hurt at the time and thinking about it now I mistook love for lust and really all I want is the sex, and to be in that same situation I was in… But it’s too late now :(

I hate my dad

When I was younger, visits were more frequent though they did NOT happen every second weekend, even though that was his right. This was his choice, proven by the fact that he kept moving further and further away and making excuses of being too ‘broke’ to see us. It got so bad that my mom would drive the two of us all the way to see him and stay in a hotel so we could visit. She was raising us on welfare… And he made a lot of money and skipped a lot child support payments. A lot of this was to ‘punish’ my mother for leaving him, but this hurt my sibling and I…
As we got older, the visits turned into just the holidays… Then just one holiday a year. As an adult, I’ve seen my dad four times in 6 years and that was MY doing, by going to him. He doesn’t try.
I never learned any of this until a few years ago because my mom didn’t want to tarnish my sisters and my view of our dad. But I was angry one day, and she revealed all this and SO much more.
And I hate him.

abuse

I was sexually abused by my sister as a child. she has effected my life in such a negative way. We don’t talk and i don’t care. I hope she dies young.

I want a Baby

for a little over a year i’ve been having dreams and hopes of having a baby.. like im to the point where i think im in love with the baby in my fantasy. i have names picked out and have figured out how much everything i would need would cost. the problem with this is im 20, live with my parents and am having a really hard time finding a job, and my boyfriend doesnt know that i want a baby now or that i have some baby stuff hidden in a closet. every month i secretly hope im pregnant, since we only use the pull out method..

Stranger

I lost my virginity to a stranger this week. I’m 37 years old.

Disapointment

I told my boyfriend (well ex now)that I self harm and suffer from depression. He looked at me and laughed. He asked me what did I have to be depressed about. Why was I trying to get more attention by cutting myself and crying every night. I haven’t told a soul since. Everyone wants to know my secret but no one understands. I don’t know what hurts worse thinking I am worthless, crying, and cutting or having all my fears and self-doubt confirmed by someone I thought cared about me.

Hate

I hate my life.. I hate my past and that I can’t seem to get away from it.
I hate that I have no confidence & that I overthink everything.. I hate that I grew up in a world of negativity & abuse & I’m just supposed to be okay! I hate that I let my ex take advantage of me for so many years & yet I feel I still love him.. I hate that I can’t be normal

Hit and Run

I hit a guy on his Motorcycle couple nights ago really bad i went to my house hide my car next morning i drove to my friend car repair shop and fix it. i look on the rear mirror that night and saw him kinda standing but i got the feeling someone else was on the backside of the motorcycle with him :/

Got God?

I’m a Christian. I married a man who is also Christian. I was raised to support my husband as the spiritual head of my house. He was not. I have been trying to put God at the center of our marriage for 3 years. I have told him for the 5 years we’ve been together that I need his support in turning to God in our marriage and lives. He agrees this is a thing we should do. But he still doesn’t ever initiate prayer together, or going to church, or reading the Bible. I’ve accepted that I will be the spiritual head of my house, even though it makes me sad. I’ve never had a crisis of faith, but I am now. I need my husband to lift up my faith and he doesn’t even know I’m losing it. How do you face fear of losing your faith? How do you face it in silence and alone?

daddy dearest

When I was 17 I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to you peeking under my robe. You never knew I knew and now the thought of you disgusts me. You are the reason I don’t talk to anyone in the family. I hope you die alone and ashamed.

wonder

I am scared of getting married. i feel i am not disciplined enough to successfully perform my duties in a marriage setting. i feel man can be expecting a lot from their wives especially if you marry a established good looking one. What if i dont cook well or clean well. or look nice and beautiful always… would he hate me… and start feeling bored and unloving towards me after and what if i become to much in love and he just finds faults and cannot wait to leave me for any other woman.

And its hard to marry someone who i dont find attractive or who doesnt make me see myself being along in one room. or doing what people do in bed. I am not in my teens i am old but i feel a baby when i think about sex and thinking about it. Can there be a way to think like a woman… and get over these fears?

Teenage Life

I was adopted when I was 5 after going through several traumatic foster homes. The family who adopted me didn’t make my life much better. We had many good times, but my (foster)mom took out all her anger on me and spread lies about me. She then decided to seperate me from my two younger siblings and put me back in the foster system 10 years later. It all happened this summer. I just turned 15 and my life is all messed up. The only family i had turned me away because i wanted to grow up. I’ve never done drugs, had sex, run away, or anything of that nature and I don’t intend to start now.. To adults, I seem perfectly fine and happy, but past experiences have led me to not be able to trust anyone. I lost my chance to live a decent life without unnecessary guilt a long time ago. I lost my friends, my family, and my home because one person decided that they would be better without me. So a word for the adults, think before you make a decision, especially when considering another person, no matter how young or old.