Why the hell did we get married?

Before my husband became my husband-he was ******* my mom. I was actually really glad she had met him cause she seemed younger and happier. As a matter of fact, when I first met him I thought he looked like a douche, was so not my type, and made fun of him-but was still happy for my mom. Didnt really talk to him. One day you asked me why I never came out of my room when you were working-alcohol has clouded my memories-but to make a long story short we ended up wrestling and talking and drinking and all of a sudden all we wanted to do to each other was ****. Fast forward eight years later, and we are married witha beautiful wonderful baby. Sex sucks for the both of us-I feel like a disposavble hole with no emotional connection, and I hate that you are an alcoholic. Plus you are a bigamist-even though after we got married you then got divorced from 2nd wife. I have thought about leaving you many times-but we never have enough money to make it feasible or you try to make up by indulging my materialistic desires. I want you to know I am horny-not frigid (like I am with you), I use the things you bought and that I refuse to use with you-to pleasure myself in secret. We could be good for each other if we both learned how to be partners-however-it seems that is a pipedream that will never happen. When will I have an answer for myself which will lead to action-I am tired of waiting for one and want to change for the better.

my boyfriend just beat me

i just got beat by my boyfriend of 6 months.
he spit in my face. dragged me by my hair. punched
my head it. bashed my head into a coffee table.
i even called the cops on him……. and i still love him.

I always said I would never smoke.

I always told people I would never smoke. I never wanted to until recently. I don’t have the courage to tell my mom, even though I am married and out of the house. I still feel like she would be disappointed. My little brother would be upset. I have seen the health risks it causes first hand, but I can’t not smoke. I feel so ashamed.

I never told him I had an abortion

when I was 27 I got pregnant with him. I really didn’t want to keep it. It didn’t work out with my job at all and I’d make a really, really horrible mother. I know that all sounds really cold and heartless, but that’s how it is. I was afraid to tell him, because I feared he’d try to talk me out of it. I had the abortion when he was on a businesstrip, when he came back I managed to pretend nothing had happened. I felt so horrible. Not that I regretted the abortion, but I really missed having someone to talk to. I made a mistake by not telling him, but by the time I’d figured that out it seemed too late to change that.
Eventually things got better and now (2 yrs later) we’re about to get married. One part of me says I should tell him to be able to start our marriage without lies and secrets, but the other part says it would only cause more pain if I told him. He might hate me for it. I really don’t know what to do.

Tired

I just want to run away and become a whole other person.

I am really just plain tired of everything. I moved to a city to be close to my parents, left a good job, and now I’m living with them, not working, and what I thought was going to be a positive experience, has turned sour.

I am deeply in debt, and I cannot find a job in my field, but I feel responsible for being here since my sibling passed away a couple of years ago and I’m all they have left. I feel like all this pressure is on me as the one left.

On top of that, I’m in love with someone who doesn’t seem to feel the same way, and I can’t seem to purge this person out of my life.

I’m exhausted and confused. I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I cheated on my fiance

I cheated on my fiance. I don’t know why I did it. I love him and he loves me. He’s the best partner anybody could have. But I cheated on him with one of our friends. I had sex with his friend. I don’t know what to do. Should I tell him? If so how?

On camera

Over the past few nights I felt really lonely and went on a few chatrooms where I ended up getting naked and doing things for guys on camera because it made me feel attractive and wanted that they actually wanted to see me. But I’m only 19 and actually still a virgin. I’ve been hating myself the next day and I feel disgusted with myself. I hope telling someone about it will help me to realise I actually have a really great life where this is wholly unnecessary.

aliens

The first time i was taken i was 9, back then it was a huge shock to me becuase it was simply traumatic. but now i feel content about it. wether people like to admit it or not. This universe is vast in size more planets galaxies and stars that you could ever imagine. and out of the billions of years it has existed i know its perfectly reasonable to say other beings are out there, some are way more advanced than this planet. 2 people can still be human but completly different . there are bad people and good. and its the same with them. there are the bullies murderers and sick minded. and then there are the gentle kind and understanding that wouldnt harm anyone . being abducted is to much of a poweful word. depending on the situation. most of the governments like the America, England and Russia are the main ones in this situation. all of them met with an alien craft in nevada. becuase american intelligence recieved a binary code that could be converted into language with notification of a meeting to discuss an alliance. and mainly appeasment becuase of many of the crafts that earth has shot down. they would help us bring humanity to piece and help us technologicly if we would give up our nuclear arms. becuase humans are childish and not capable of weilding weapons with out killing each other. after all it is what were famous for. But our governments disagreed and came to another understanding. if they were given permission to take humans for medical research becuase of there Reproduction problems they have that i know millions of years of dependancy on technoligy caused and if they returned the humand safly and unaware of what happend. in return they would help us technologicly. But humans are not changing . there not listning, the only way forward as a free upstanding powerfull race is if we stop all the killing of eachother. like i said at the start since i was taken as a child and have been taken on an average once a month. some months skipping. im trusted by them . and they are more peacful and beautiful than you could ever imagine. we really do need there help in bringing humanity peace. but it cant be done with out people helping. they cant do anything without the worlds nuclear weapons still at the governments disposal . they are more willing to kill all of us . than be helped. And they are only in power becuase we let them be. there will be an upcoming party election in britain for nuclear dissarmourment in about 3 years. i havnt heard news on america just yet . but im sure the same wil be happening. this resistence is real and will bring human kind above its petty problems. So please keep an open mind. and look up to the skies. were closer related to them than you realise . they have helped me more and are more of a family than anyone in my life and ive never felt more at home. thanks.

I cheated on my bf online…

I was bored one night, and decided to go on an IRC sex chatroom, not with the intent of actually engaging in the stuff they do there, but just out of curiousity to see how many idiots I could find. This one guy started talking to me in a personal window, and things got weird really quickly… Like, he was talking about all the things he wanted to to do me, and I was making no effort to stop him because it was giving me a sick thrill… So I was basically some random guy’s good time, while my caring, loving boyfriend is clueless. I don’t know why I did it and it hasn’t happened since, but as soon as I left my computer screen I started crying and the memory of it disgusts me…

A kiss

I am close to someone and spend alot of time with her. Suddenly, without warning I started wanting to kiss her so bad that it hurts. I try to keep this feeling locked inside but I can’t help it. If she were anyone else in this world I would find a way to win her over and make it happen but there is no one more out of reach to me. I can never tell her this. I can never let it become obvious. I’m afraid that this feeling may one day ruin the close frienship we have. Sometimes I think there is a tiny chance she would do it someday. Like maybe deep inside she wants to kiss me too. But that thought is like torture to me. There is too much to lose to find out. I do not understand why I want this so bad with this person. It’s just a kiss. I hope this feeling fades away as fast as it can.